ive grown tired and shining for someone whose glance was never mine...

so much words are running thru my mind. its gona explode. been thinking lately, been crying and for that my stomach always hurt.they say that everything happens for a reason. well if thats true i dont want to be the reason.. but it ended that i am a reason. or mybe not? i dont know, i DONT WANT TO KNOW!

have you ever got hurt by someone at the second time around? yeah i know you may think that "ang tanga mo, niloko ka na nga dati nagpaloko ka na naman ulit!" i thought it wont happen, but it did.

a week a go twas really smooth, sumthin came up that i have to work with someone that i never dream of bein with again. things are SMOOTH, that it became so slippery and i fell.

why its so easy for you to say what you feel? did you ever alteast thought of what i felt for you? no idea right? just knew when i told ya about it. and yea you took advantage of my feelings? no? everybody se so? i know you would say "hindi totoo yan, nilam" then tell me.

scared people would know what we have done? what have you told me? where we went? why? scared of the rumors? i have so many questions, but non of them wer answered. and after what you did silently ur tellin me that we are friends? worst! "please dont let them know about this" gawd.. i want to be mad, i want to slap yar face or kick yar ass but i cant. cuz my heart is tellin me not to. sick heart SICK! im tired. my heart is tired. i dont want to fight nemore.

my heart is crying out loud. cant you hear it? you cant even look at my eyes. scared? cuz u know uv done sumthin. sumthin that hurts me...
i still want to love even though it sucks. but love doesnt love me back.

i pray at night that one day god would take all my pains away..

so as my friend jonathan..
>btw thnx for bein there when i am drownin...