live + love + burn + die

2006-09-06T13:57:00.000+08:00

they say september babies are:::

::have abstract thoughts. * i agree hehe
::Loves reality and abstract. **ofcorz
::Intelligent and clever.** slight agree
::Changing personality. **if in need haha
::Attractive. *true!!
::Sexiest out of everyone.** YEAH~!!
::Temperamental. ** nah.. am very calm
::Quiet, shy and humble.** im not quiet hehe not that shy but im humble heheh
::honest and loyal.*** sure i am
::Determined to reach goals. ** ofcorz
::Loves freedom. **yeshiesssshhh!!
::Rebellious when restricted. ** nah am not a rebel lol
::Loves aggressiveness. ** define agressive?
::Too sensitive and easily hurt. **siguro
::Gets angry really easily but does not show it. **nah im not a angry person
::Dislikes unnecessary things.* sometimes
::Loves making friends but rarely shows it.** do love friends and shows it
::Horny. ** hahahaha
::Daring and stubborn. ** i guess but not that stubborn
::Ambitious. ** ofcorz
::Realizing dreams and hopes. ** most of the time
::Sharp.* and clear eh?
::Loves entertainment and leisure.*** do love them.. and shopping
::Romantic on the inside not outside. ** yes yes yes
::Superstitious and ludicrous. ** uhuh uhuh
::Spendthrift.** ehahhh
::Tries to learn to show emotions. ** nah i do show my emotions so i dont have to learn eh??

hahah wats the point of this neways?? nada.. hhahaha actually ahm a september baby.. which is most of them are true but few of them are stir.. lmao..

panu ba yan bertdei ku nah..

shux am gona be 21 f*ck f*ck f*ck hehehe

my namimiss ako... pag bertdei ku

pero my mahal ako buong buhay ko...
si nat yuon hahaha

rain rain go away...

2006-07-13T00:28:00.000+08:00

thank god classes wer suspended.. yaikes.. haha wont be able to see ms. becares and no textile class, plus no sir salvatus hehe... eh? cool prof btw *_* tot would be a bum day, woke up at 8 and found out that nat is on his way to school which i texted him earlier that dont go to school cuz its raining hard... still pumasok padin.. *_* newayz babs ah hope ya feelin well.. havent seen ya in a while.. pagaling ka ha? hehehe luvyah *_* uhmm.. so there we ate lunch, oh i ate lunch alone cuz i fell asleep again hehehe which why my sister and her classmates had already eaten lunch.. darn.. well i always eat alone.. *sobs* loner hahahah ..

at around 3 we decided to pick up our orders @ ate cathy's office in greenhills and on our way there it rained so hard.. like soo hard eh? lmao.. tas we bought 2 cute bling bling's hehehe hello kitty and mickey mouse.. soo cute promise.. lol

tas.. we went to the optical at around 6 claimed mah new contact lens and michaels oakley specs. i was so hungry nah that my sister and her friends grabbed some balot and eated like its so yummy.. eee... well its my first time and it did not succeeded hehe.. i cracked the top and saw the white thing.. eee.. then i saw the lil chick.. i got scared haha.. so my 1st time was un successful heheh..T_T

aun.. we decided to eat dinner at rob sa bacolod chicken inasal and ordered lotza foods.. patay gutom kami.. haha hindi naman we were just hungry.. after that our finale.. our day wouldnt end without dining at ice monster.. hehe yey yey yey!!! tsarap ice monster .. watermelon *YUM**

ayun.. we went home.. tas im so bloated.. feel sick eatin too much food..

diet mode nah

*_*

update update

2006-05-18T02:58:00.000+08:00

been gone for quite sometime heheh.. geez for like a month this page is gettin pretty boring, good thing i have justine, martin, dudutz and the others that keep on messin up this blog of mine. hahaha peace to you guys! but im happy that you people are always upated with my life.. though u guys dont do this things.. hahah so how much do i owe you na bah? tumaas na talent fee?
**
anyways.. lam is not lam if she doesnt make kwento of her lifelings! well why am i awake at the middle of the night.. i dont know cant sleep and im textin mah babs.. wonderin who is he? he's the love of my life heheh naks. we've been together for two months.. tat was yesterday yikeeee sweet hehe..
**
iv been paid to design a yearly book sumthin sumthin for optometry thing and i wish this would come out good.. *cross fingers*
**
NEWS FLASH: i got friggin stye on my eye.. sux big time..
and my eyes sore like shit.... hahah im just exaj on things.
**
wana see my new pixies with my babs.. here it is

and i have to bounce bye

seventeen

2006-05-18T02:29:00.000+08:00

We have been together for a while
but i still love your touch
and the way you talk
yours eyes ,
yours smile
Your love is nothing short of divine
sending shivers down my spine.
And though our love is tried and true,
every day,
I'll keep loving you!

i love u always babs..

why do we love ba?

2006-03-17T00:36:00.000+08:00

so we can have somebody to talk to?
someone who can be there pag gusto natin gumala?
a person na pwedeng manlibre satin?
taong magbibitbit ng gamit mo?
JHULALAY for short!

eh pano kung di ka nya mahal? would you still love him/her?
would you still continue to care for that person?
bakit naman hinde?
you didnt love that person para magkaroon ka ng alalay,
magkaroon ka ng instant meal dahil libre,
taong gagawa ng assignments mo or projects,
or taong mahihila mo if you want to go out...

if thats what you think about love well sorry ang BABAW mo!

loving a person doesn't need to have a criteria na dapat maganda o guwapo, dapat mabait or understanding,
kasi once you fall inlove you take the risk of accepting dat person kahit maingay sya matulog, yung hilik ng hilik
kahit matakaw sya o sobrang fat na hindi kayo kasya pag puno ang jeep! kahit sobrang moody nya na kulang na lang ay sapakin mo sa inis!
yung sobrang selosa/seloso na pati barkada pinagseselosan.. badtrip diba? and yung napaka-arte OA kung baga!
o kahit ano pang things that would turn you off...
hirap tlaga magmahal trying to be PERFECT kase gusto mong magtagal pero hindi yun ang sagot sa lahat...
ACCEPTING the real person fully
kase if you said na mahal mo sya you dont need to find answers kung bakit mo sya mahal...
kase lahat ng tao nagbabago but if you accept that person magbago man sya in the middle of your relationship hindi ka masasaktan kase you know that darating din yun.. tsaka tanggap mo sya ng buo... mahirap gawin pero masarap subukan dahil wala ng sasaya pa if you let one person feel na MAHAL NA MAHAL mo sya without asking 4 anything in return...
then you can say wow un pla ang LOVE!

Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect. It means you've decided to see beyond the imperfections....

mithi mode -tama ba spelling?

2006-03-11T00:25:00.000+08:00

uhmm not sure if tat was the right spellin of mithi .. ehehe sowee ja! But you urbley rock my world lmao well not just mah world but everyone in the myrics was like OMG she’s so galing! Hahahah naks!! Kakaiba.. at first my ears are bleeding cause of the unwanted noisy trashy band who played.. heheh im bein exaggerated in here. Sori hahah peyce mhen! So sad I wasn’t able to finish Georgia’s songs cause my cousin was already there to pick me up already.. sucks right.. pero the catch was.. I enjoyed bein there.. well iv got mah fella sweetness friends namely stash, Carla, princess, paul, marky, and juvy.. hehe oh yeah I forgot the catch.. did i? ang gulo ko haha.. another group showed up and I don’t want to name names.. hahaha and yea one of them was *toot* I guess everyone who supports my blog knows his name.. the undying moment of bliss came again… darn he sat beside me.. my heart pounds so fast. He is here OMG!! My moment of misery changed the undying bliss.. shikes.. I wish that we were alone, and that he would talk to me and I don’t know.. darn darn darn Y&!%&$@(!#*&@) why am I writing this stuff? That I know you read this once in a while.. pero still you don’t even care.. waaa im supah dupah martyr when it comes to you… can someone hit me on mah head so I could wake up on this unending nightmare.. am I so compulsive when it comes to you? Why?? Ur not even hot nor popular haha.. I have no words to hit yar friggin lil face.. fuck!! I cant even say bad things bout you.. whats this???? This is wrong… you are making it wrong!! You are wrong! Haha I suck.. im sleepy and hungry..

weird… this post sucks.. right? Aahahaha I should get some sleep so I could watch pautakan tom.

Yeah go PAUTAKAN!!
Btw marky you look so cute when u sleep.. can u sleep forever.. waaaa kiddin dude.. hahaha

And cut!

ive grown tired and shining for someone whose glance was never mine...

2006-02-13T02:26:00.001+08:00

so much words are running thru my mind. its gona explode. been thinking lately, been crying and for that my stomach always hurt.they say that everything happens for a reason. well if thats true i dont want to be the reason.. but it ended that i am a reason. or mybe not? i dont know, i DONT WANT TO KNOW!

have you ever got hurt by someone at the second time around? yeah i know you may think that "ang tanga mo, niloko ka na nga dati nagpaloko ka na naman ulit!" i thought it wont happen, but it did.

a week a go twas really smooth, sumthin came up that i have to work with someone that i never dream of bein with again. things are SMOOTH, that it became so slippery and i fell.

why its so easy for you to say what you feel? did you ever alteast thought of what i felt for you? no idea right? just knew when i told ya about it. and yea you took advantage of my feelings? no? everybody se so? i know you would say "hindi totoo yan, nilam" then tell me.

scared people would know what we have done? what have you told me? where we went? why? scared of the rumors? i have so many questions, but non of them wer answered. and after what you did silently ur tellin me that we are friends? worst! "please dont let them know about this" gawd.. i want to be mad, i want to slap yar face or kick yar ass but i cant. cuz my heart is tellin me not to. sick heart SICK! im tired. my heart is tired. i dont want to fight nemore.

my heart is crying out loud. cant you hear it? you cant even look at my eyes. scared? cuz u know uv done sumthin. sumthin that hurts me...
i still want to love even though it sucks. but love doesnt love me back.

i pray at night that one day god would take all my pains away..

so as my friend jonathan..
>btw thnx for bein there when i am drownin...

blogging

2006-02-10T09:45:00.000+08:00

hmmm i should keep myself busy again.. not that im not busy with school but i should have sumthin to do when i cant sleep at night and i just want to.... i dont know.. ohwels its cheer mania todai.. not that im one of the pep..lmao i should keep goin i have to keep on track with the pixies para cute ehehe..
goodluck CFAD people.especially to paul nacu and juvy sioson.. ahahah full name basis toh!!

later nlng ulet..

Backstreetboys live @araneta

2006-01-21T03:08:00.000+08:00

This was like a dream concert for me...i totally enjoyed the concert!! cant stop smiling...the colisuem was like 85-90% filled...haaay...ang sarap ng feeling seeing them after 10 years of waiting...oh well...OMG i just have to say that BRIAN is so HOT he looks really gwapo in pink shirt and he's totally makulit and all.. seems to be a sweet guy.. shikes *ilovebrian*

they were wearing shirt and jeans only...but it was so cool especially the time when they sang all i have to give...my heart melts! i called tasha and i was like screaming. i have the full vid coverage of the concert ! hahaha..

the bouncer was like "youre not allowed to video the concert" i was like HELLO!! i was just taking picture lang noh!! naka tri-pod kasi ako hehehe.. feeling camera man..

oh yeah sweetness sila cuz they thank the BSB Fans for KEEPIN' THE BACKSTREET PRIDE ALIVE FOR 13 years! Whew!

here's a rundown of the concert..

1. The Call
2. My Beautiful Woman
3. More Than That
4. Crawling Back to You?
5. Shape of My Heart
6. The One
7. I Still
8. I Want It That Way
9. Show Me the Meaning of Being Lonely
10. Larger THan Life
11. Song from Never Gone album
12. All I have To Give ----> they were so cute dancing to the song! especially the infamous hat thingy!
13. As Long as You Love Me
14. I'll Never Break YOur Heart

*after the song Nick and AJ asked us to sing Happy Birthday...AJ said it was his birthday last Jan. 9 and requested if we could sing Happy Birthday as well to one of the crew members (I think that was the guitarist..correct me if I'm wrong)..I thought it was for Nick, but it wasn't! haha!

15. I Just Want You To Know
16. Never Gone
17. Drowning
18. Quit Playing Games
19. Song from Never Gone album
20. Incomplete

I thought it was over...but then people were chanting, MORE! MORE! hehe...and then they came out..I was clueless as to what will be their last song, until we heard the intro of...EVERYBODY!!! Sobrang saya! I can't describe the feeling! I will never forget this concert, EVER!

a total dream come true ever!!

i know some says its a lil lame.. i dont care!!
i love them so much

im a big fan of BSB

especially brian

i hart you

~lam

blogthigs~~

2005-12-13T23:09:00.000+08:00

How You Are In Love

You take a while to fall in love with someone. Trust takes time.

You give and take equally in relationships.

You tend to get very attached when you're with someone. You want to see your love all the time.

You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change.

You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard.

How Are You In Love?

You're a Playful Kisser

Kissing is a huge game for you, a way to flirt and play
You're the first one to suggest playing spin the bottle at a party
Or you'll go for the wild kiss during a game of truth or dare
And you're up for kissing any sexy stranger if the mood is right!

What Kind of Kisser Are You?

Your Kissing Purity Score: 37% Pure

You're not one to kiss and tell...

But word is, you kiss pretty well.

Kissing Purity Test

isaw..

2005-12-12T21:43:00.000+08:00

i think im gonna vomit**
nakakain lang naman ako ng 6 na isaw. *yum* thanx to carla's isawan neighbor. ahihi*
bum* no class tom and im bein senti again.. huwai kaya...
urghh.. been tamad lately. well i hate my schedule tapos yung mga people na i was expecting to understand me are the one na makitig un utak. ewan ko ba. i miss someone tuloy. *sigh*
its hard to pretend noh? why do you have to pretend ba... para hindi ako masaktan? hindi ba mas masakit un. ay ewan. basahin mo man ito hindi mo rin maiintindihan. id even know if u care at all. numb.yea thats the perfect word for you. i give up. hindi pa nga kita nakakasama ngkakaganito na. pano pa? ay ewan talaga. para kang isaw.. dalawang klase. un sa manok at sa baboy. kung hindi ka masuget supah sweet mo naman. pero dont expect me to understand u always. hindi naman tayo parehas ng pananaw sa buhay eh. im trying to understand you. are u trying to understand me ba? or u just get pissed off when i say sumthin that you dont like. nak nang. ako ba nagrereklamo? kung mag reklamo man ako parang wala lang diba? ewan talaga...

***
ill blog later nalang.

untitled ~~

2005-12-10T01:48:00.000+08:00

long overdue..
im supposed to do my paper but im not in the mood. i have a sty, my left eye hurts and i look ugly darn. i wear shades and its raining. makes no sense right? darn sty die die die!!!! my doctor sez it would be gone in 3 days. no it cant be. next week im goin to subic and cream how am i goin to party when i have this thing on my eye. *cry* ohwell i have to find a better shades for that event**

seems wrong. how can u be happy if someone isnt happy bout sumthin... should i care? or does he care of what other people feels.. cant do nethin.. im like million miles away, so what if i care? he couldnt feel it newayz or whatever! well im not the one he is expecting so why bother.

this is wrong.

i should do my paper about my manerisms.. or who i looked like my dad or my mom/?.. darn psyco ..darn prof .. lets smoke cigz nalang after class so we'll be cool.. *araaite*

peycee**

its nat's birthday! darn u suck!!! manlikbre ka ksi nalala ko birthday mo!!!
(*don't react! it not what u think! i dont love him okai!! just greeted him off *pffft)

its pauls beeedeeii nah!! yeheeyy beach!! beachh!! beachhhH!!! sa subic weeeee!!!

paskuhan na rin sa uST!! punta kayooo!!

lie.. sigh

2005-11-29T00:06:00.000+08:00

Lie: simple: To convey a false image or impression.

i hate people when they lie. to be fair enough i do lie sometimes. but i consider them white lies. ahaha
well i lie too. i admit it. pero sometimes dont you think that when you lie, u tend to hurt someone. what if you lied to the one that you love or the one who really loves you? its hard to explain. theres so much things thats runnin in my mind.
-school stuff
-missin home for 3 days and school
-redesign popsicle package
-ad prac papers
-funerals
and worst iv been drinking coke for 3 nights. urgh i know its bad for me. i cant help it.
-my Tito died last week cause of a heart cancer.. uhh i guess? on the 3oth of nov lilibing na sya.
again- my Uncle died yesterday, cause: liver cancer. scary right?!

dang! i forgot about the lie thing! ahaha back to my friggin story. as i was saying i hate it when you lie. you know who you are?!! im not mad actually just hurt. its like your makin a fool out of yourself. or ur foolin me around. dang i dont want that to happen to meeh.

my sister told me not to be fooled by you. i cant help it. your makin me crazy.
-by your words
-your actions
-the way you talk
-your smile
-and the way u kiss
dang! im crazy as hell!!

if you do love me, please dont lie. or if you cant stop lying, then stop saying that you love me, its makin me sad. and it makes me cry again. you told me that you dont want to see my tears fallin from my eye. but what are you doing? ur the reason why these tears fall. you know that.

i know alot of girls really liked you. and i know u liked them too. im here and your there, i cant do anything, im just here to wait, listen to your words, hope, and believe that one day that love that you are tellin me is really true and it comes from ur heart.

-tears fall from my eye

kinidnap cellphone ko =S

2005-11-23T23:24:00.000+08:00

lame day! soo lame that my sister txted me that she lost my phone. wtf! yeah i freaked out, nah its a little exaj ahihi.. i just felt bad cuz i love that phone so much because its really special.. people close to me knows why. ITO pa my yung other phone ko binahayan ng langgam TAKE NOTE: red anTS urgh!! they thought siguro na dance floor ang LCD ng phone ko, would you beliv more or less 5 ata ang ants na un.. grosss ...
***
my mom gave me a neclace kanina *yipee sweetness noh? it has my name on it.. just sux cuz lahat capitalized tama ba un. parang manly mashado... hehe *peyyceee mom*
***
im having allergies cuz of the magazines i bought sa recto. pero would u beliv 25 bucks per mag, yeah i know its old still its international. yey* well i bought those cuz of ad prac, still thinking what product to choose. hummm?!!!
***
well its getting late, HAHAH im feeling tired, havnt slept good last night, cuz of the phone siguro.. haii =S kinidnanp phone ko.. sux pah! the key to my locker is there, and un inarbor ko kay chie na phone handle nandun.. sigh*
***
yey* im excited im going to Iloilo, well its for a cause, hah! actually my uncle died (sumalangit na ang kanyang kaluluwa) so there...
***
its tina's birthday later nov. 24 **HAPPY BIRTHDAY GURL!**
on nov 26 its maries bday **ADVANCE HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEETIE**
pati rin si tracy sa 26 *NAKNANG IPOD NANO YAN!! HAHA

well, im kinda feelin down... cuz of the songs iv been playing lately.. 1998 fever.. yeah! code red, nsync, 98 degrees, bsb, and spice girls!
ahahaha

*peyyceee*

hurtin inside

2005-11-23T19:14:00.000+08:00

i really miss you ..

i wish i could talk to you...

i wish we could see each other...

i miss ur voice...

i miss everything about you...

pag ng lalaugh ka,pag niaasar mo ako...

nag take ako ng chances with you

cuz u told me hindi mo ako sasaktan.

mag grabe un ginagawa mo now....

im still waiting for you....

i gues i love you that much..

and it hurts soo bad

*cry*

26 Things That A Perfect Guy Would Do

2005-11-14T01:52:00.000+08:00

1. Know how to make you smile when you are down.

2. Try to secretly smell your hair, but you always notice.

3. Stick up for you, but still respects your independence.

4. Give you the remote control during the game.

5. Come up behind you and put his arms around you.

6. Play with your hair.

7. His hands always find yours.

8. Be cute when he really wants something.

9. Offer you plenty of massages.

10. Dance with you, even if he feels like a dork.

11. Never run out of love.

12. Be funny, but know how to be serious.

13. Realize he's being funny when he needs to be serious.

14. Be patient when you take forever to get ready.

15. React so cutely when you hit him and it actually hurts.

16. Smile a lot.

17. Plans a romantic date full of cheesy things he wouldn't normally like to do, just because he knows it means a lot to you.

18. Appreciate you.

19. Help others out.

20. Drive 5 hours just to see you for 1.

21. Always gives you a peck on the cheek when you depart from each others company, even when his friends are watching.

22. Sing, even if he can't.

23. Have a creative sense of humor.

24. Stare at you.

25. Call for no reason.

26. Quit smoking, chewing, drinking, or drugs - just because he loves u that much to quit it.

**its so sweet to know that theres someone out there that do these things to a girl... *SIGH* i wish there was...

***nakakainlove noh?

mahal kita? ikaw mahal mo ba ako?

2005-10-18T02:16:00.000+08:00

magmahal? oo marunong ako non ikaw marunong ka?! my sister is right, karma do come twice as bad.. f*ck! sa buhay kong ito naranasan ko magmahal, makasakit ng damdamin at masaktan ng lubusan. pero ano nga ba ang pinaka masarap na naramdaman ko? siguro ang magmahal. ilang beses na ako ngmahal pero ano nagyari? wala dumating din sa hiwalayan. masarap ang feeling pag nagmahal ka, tipong bibigyan ka ng bulaklak, chocolates, ittext ka, tatawagan ka sa cell kahit alam mong wala na syang load, hahatid ka sa bahay, anu pa lahat ng pinaka masayang bagay andun na, pero bakit ganun kung kelan ka masaya andun naman ang oras na kailangan mo masaktan. oo aaminin ko ako ay nakasakit ng tao, ilang beses na hindi na maibilang, hindi ko naman sinasadya yon.. siguro dala lang nang panahon o dala lang ng pagmamahal ko. ewan, noon madaling sabihin na mahal mo ang isang tao, madaling sabihin na gusto mo sya, at madaling magkunware. paano ko nasabi yon? nagawa ko eh. ang sama diba? alam ko kaya ko nga itinigil eh, nung tipong kailangan ko na makipghiwalay doon ko lang naramdaman na mahal ko nga sya. ang tanga noh? o talagang sadyang ganun ang magmahal? sa lahat na naging boyfriend ko ay ako ang nakikipag break, ewan takot lang siguro ako iwan o unahan, at lalong takot makasama ka ng habang buhay at takot ako masaktan.. kaya ako ba ang nanakit ng damdamin? noong mga oras na iyon hindi ko pa alam ang halaga ng pag-ibig.
dumating ang oras, nagmahal ulit ako, naging masaya, oo sobrang saya na tipong siya na ang kinikilala kong mundo. ang sarap magmahal na alam mong mahal ka din nya. magmahal nang higit pa sa buhay mo? ito na ata ang pinaka karma ko. masaktan ng lubusan. pagkatapos ko manakit ng damdamin ng ibang tao, damdamin ko naman ang nasasaktan. pero hindi sila, kundi sya. oo sya ang taong unang nanakit ng damdamin ko. sabi nila matutong magparaya. ginawa ko, hindi ko kinaya. masakit mawalan ng taong sobra mong minahal sa sandaling panahon? sadyang mapaglaro ang panahon, kung kailan ka na umibig saka naman ikaw ay masasaktan, oo natuto na ako, natutong magpahalaga ng pagmamahal. pero huli na kung kelan wala na siya. kung kelan hindi na pwedeng maibalik un dati. ang sarap umiyak pero para saan pa? wala naman halaga diba? oo merong hinanakit dito sa loob ko, masakit magpatawad mahirap makalimot. kalimutan na ang sakit pero ang pagmamahal na nabuo ang hirap kalimutan. paano? turuan mo ako? kasi masakit tong nararamdaman ko?! hindi ko na kayang makita ka, makatabi ka, makausap ka na hindi bukal sa aking kalooban. bakit? ayaw kong mahulog ng sobra sa taong alam kong hindi na kayang ibigay un nakaraan. buhay nga naman sadyang napaka lupit.

pinaparusahan na ata ako. kung kailan naman ako nagmahal ulit, ako na ang nasasaktan. opo masakit, masakit pala.. sana wag mo sakin gawin to, pagod na ang puso ko masaktan,pagod magmahal, pagod umiyak.

ikaw, oo ikaw. alam mong mahal kita, sana wag mo gawing biro ito, wag mo nalang sabihin na mahal mo ako na alam naman natin na niloloko mo lang ako. masakit, hindi mo lang alam o sadyang manhid ka lang. wag mong gawin ito hindi mo lang alam mas doble ang balik sayo. tingnan mo ako ngayon sawi, pinaparusahan ng taghana dahil sa pag papabaya, sa pag babalewala, sa pananakit ng damdamin ng iba. at sa huli sa ang puso ko mismo ang nasaktan.

mahal kita. ikaw? mahal mo ba ako?

"Turn down the lights, turn down the bed Turn down these voices inside my head Lay down with me, tell me no lies Just hold me close, don't patronize Don't patronize me 'Cause I can't make you love me If you don't You can't make your heart feel something it won't Here in the dark in these final hours I will lay down my heart, and I'll feel the power But you won't, no you won't And I can't make you love me If you don't I'll close my eyes and then I won't see The love you do not feel, when you're holding me Morning will come, and I'll do what's right Just give me till then, to give up this fight And I will give up this fight And I can't make you love me if you don't You can't make your heart feel something it won't And here in the dark in these final hours I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power But you won't, no, you won't And I can't make you love me If you don't Ain't no use in you trying It's no good for me baby without love All my tears, all these years, everything I believed in Baby Oh yeah Someone's gonna love me"

halik

2005-10-09T01:26:00.000+08:00

*whew* october 7,2005 our photo finals continues and that day was la naval's "halik" the continuation of 1 week feast. it was so solemn.. ever seen mary with such a beautiful dress and accessories. *total glam* well we went there not only for that but to document that feast... super dami ng tao.. *yikes* still its worth the sweat. me, michael and nikko was designated to take pictured beside the altar and seated at the brothers/choir section. well the best part there was im seated to this cute brother *blush* ahahah really he's one hot soon to be priest.. ahaha "father forgive me for what i have sinned" hahaha i really cant get my eyes of him.. stash told me that i should stop acting like that because im a temptation.. ahahah *hmmm* whahaha.. bad luck i havnt had a chance to know him.. may pagkakataon pa ako mamaya! yehey* ahahah well to continue :its 9 pm that night and its raining hard.. good thing my supah sister is there to pick me up so me and my other girlfriends joined in the car which the car can only occupy 5 plus the driver and guess what? 8 kami ahaha* the boys rode a jeep.. its 10 pm and we are still at quezon ave. stuck! flood is getting high and oh noh my sisters car is crying.. hahaha we passed many streets to avoid the flood but still metro manila is like a big rio grande with dirts and eekiii stuffz.. so we were like in lacson already. 30 mins stuck in traffic and its 12 am already.. we were tired and sleepy. but beside us there were people who passes by and they did not noticed that theres a whole so everyone who passed there fall and got soaked on the flood ahaha we laugh and laugh till another one passed and fell again.. but we nice people "kahit papano" when the third one passed we told them that there was this hole.. and blah blah.. we reached UST at arpund 1 am to drop jaja and anne and believe it or not the boys are the 1st one to arrive ahaha *ayos* and again our precious mother is calling us because she is worried.. so its time for us to go home and end my 1st stranded moment at ust.. *sayang* andun pa naman syah* sigh* ahahah so me, hema, ate ems, stash, carla and princess went home.. yeah they stayed for the night sa house.. *saya* oops xcept ate ems we dropped her at her pad cuz its near lang..

well i have to sleep cuz its a big day tomorrow.. yiheee
imah see brother cutiee *yikes*

mwah nanayt

creepy.. T_T

2005-10-03T22:41:00.000+08:00

nagkayayan kanina. we went to p.noval to eat isaw (pig intestines) our afternoon ritual ika nga merienda.. me and carla went to the (monggo sprouts?) stand and eat some *yumm* after that we went back sa isawan to eat isaw.. duh* there were two men ordering scramble (pink colored icecrushed with choco syrup n powdered milk) okai that explains!? well to continue my friggin story... those 2 men nga.. one was talking behind my back that his friend wants my cellphone number and i was like *urghh hello i dont give out number noh!!* and he keeps on repeating it all over and i turned and told him AYOKO NGA! so he told me i"kung ayaw mo bigay sakanya, bigay mo nalang saakin" i was like HELLO???!! cant you understang AYOKO NGA!!! still he keep on buggin us.. then carla told the guy "ano ka ba my asawa na yan noh!" the guy told carla "wala akong pakealam, asawa lang naman yon eh!" i was like oh my god.. juvy is wispering to us that we should go.. i grabbed juvy's hand and we run... i was shocked... and scared.. *cry*
we went back to class and told the story to my friends they were like halika bugbugin naitin" well atleast im sare roit? *pheeww*

***

today's big brother episode was so funny.... well i thought uma is gay.. well if he is he's still hot.. roit? and a total fashionista.. still im captivated with sam's smile *yikes* he is so gwapo.. he got good singing voice and a gymnast too?? ahahahah he fell after his 3rd rollin twisting moment ... then franzen loves to kisss as in everyone.. ahaha then became a froggie.. aww kawawa.. well today twas a funny day thanks to big brother!

lets vote raquel cuz i want cass to leave the house...

*peyceee*

Top Breakup Lines (and what they really mean)

2005-09-30T21:44:00.000+08:00

It's not you, it's me. (It's not you - it's that new chick I've been seeing.)
It's nobody's fault. (It's everybody's fault - but mine!)
I need to find myself." (I need to lose you.)
It's just not working out. (My new boyfriend told me that it just wasn't working out between you and me.)
I love you, but I'm not in love with you. (I'm really very emotionally lazy and haven't the energy to feel anything right now.)
I love you. but I just can't live with you. (I love you but I just don't want to be limited to one sexual partner.)
We've grown apart. (Actually we grew together and I got cold-feet and slithered away.)
We want different things. (I want someone who can buy me a new car.)
I don't think we should see each other anymore. (I can't stand to look at you.)
I think we should just be friends (Can we still be f*ck-buddies?)
I'm still in love with my ex. (I'm in love with your ex.)
Our sun signs aren't compatible. (By the way, what sign are you?)
I love you like a brother (sister). (You totally turn me off in the bedroom area.)
You're a great guy, but... (....I'm looking for a jerk.)
I need to find myself. (I need to lose you.)
I need some space. (I have a hot date tonight, so get lost!)
I need some time. (I'll call you in about 63 years - then we can talk.)
Before I can be OK with us, I've got to be OK with me. (I have a hard time expressing my feelings. Get the fuck out of my house.)

gaguhan lang pala....

2005-09-29T02:48:00.000+08:00

fuck... im feelin so bad... my heart hurts and i dont know why.... today i can say that im really scared of my feelings... waaa *cry* i shouldnt have not read those... wondering what it is? well its sumthin that say the feelings of "two" people sharing their lovethoughts... then why should i bother making gulo with them... fuck on the 1st place i did not make the move, you did! u made me feel this way today... i dont know if this is the way u show u care damn i dont like it... just dont lie.. tell me the truth... mas masakit pag nakikita ko or nababasa ko... really it do hurts.. if you think im still happy im not nah... im scared to fall deeply inlove with you and yea you im not sure if you do... madaling sabihin eh.. i felt it once pero nawala after reading sumthin... sigh*this thing is a big fuckin joke.. tngan wag na tayong mg gaguhan.. pagod na ako sa ganyan....

nakana...

2005-09-28T11:33:00.000+08:00

it feels so sad to know that your holding to someone and this someone is just messin around...

yea thats the question thats botherin me right now.. urghh
is love messin with people or people is messin with love?
what if you got played? or what if you totally fall inlove with a player?
questions again and still half of these are left unsolved.
darn. i feel like shouting ***nakanagpuchang mundo ito***

traits of a good boyfriend/girlfriend...

2005-09-24T22:33:00.000+08:00

¤¤¤A good boyfriend knows how to listen. When words come out ofyour mouth, does he actually pay attention to what you say, or does his brain just process mumbling sounds while he stares at your chest? A good boyfriend is an active listener, meaning he asks questions and doesn't just sit there, waiting for his turn to speak. Showing you that he have a genuine interest in what you have to say means, among other things, that he respect your opinions and find you interesting; two things that will meet any woman's criteria. ¤¤¤He gives you space. Trust is the foundation of any good relationship. Part of that entails him of giving you the freedom to have a life separate from him without asking 20 questions or having jealous fits, and knowing that you're not taking his trust for granted. Keep things in perspective; would you like a boyfriend who kept tabs on every move you made? Probably not, and the same goes for him. And always look for a silver lining; in this case, you'll have time to hang out with your buddies, and have something to talk to him about the next time you see him.

¤¤¤He respects you (and your family). It's important that heavoids letting his personality get the best of you, so if his mentality is stuck in the '50s, he must adjust to changing times. He must understand that he's an equal part of the relationship, so he must appreciate your company. Likewise, he must try to embrace or get close with your family early on. In addition to scoring precious points, being kind and courteous toward your parents is a good way to show that he's serious about the relationship. This includes,but is not limited to, bringing your parents thoughtful little gifts every so often, and planning activities that includes you and your whole family, like a picnic. Of course, I'm assuming that he already survived that dreadful first meeting.

¤¤¤He tries to improve himself. Demonstrating what a positiveeffect you had on him is a fantastic way of gaining leverage. Whether his getting himself back into shape, improving his vocabulary, or forgetting about the television long enough to shop with you, it doesn't matter. Improving himself is a great way of letting you know that deserves the best, and you'll be flattered that you were the inspiration behind his desire to aim higher.

¤¤¤You challenge him to be better. Likewise; his role in your life should be just as beneficial. He should inspire you to make changes that reflect the positive effect you've had on him. If, for example, you see him letting a great talent go to waste, encourage him; maybe that's all he needs. Don't be afraid to push him to pursue a career you know he'd be good at. The fact that you care that much about his well-being will make him want to keep you around longer.

¤¤¤You make him feel handsome. Reminding him how handsome he is comes with making him feel good, and makes you a poster girlfriend. Best of all: simplicity and honesty are all you need. Buy him a card that expresses your appreciation, compliment him at odd times, and if you feel that he's the most attractive creature you've ever laid eyes on, be sure to let him know. Men want to look good for their woman, and proving to him that you only have eyes for him will be a validation of that.¤¤¤You're not whipped. He may feel more empowered by it in the beginning, but in the long run, no man wants a passive, submissive woman who completely compromises his personality to make you happy. Retain your personality, stand by your opinions, and don't give in too easily. Show him that you are strong, confident, and have a spine.

Ever After by Bonnie Bailey

2005-09-22T01:42:00.000+08:00

Three years ago my journey began
Chasing down this cure, no plan in hand
Just your pulse, my racing guide in the dark
Just knowing with conviction from the start
The moment your eyes made an introduction
I felt my second violent breath of life
Flawless to the point of being godly
Yet I fell hard for your imperfections

Chorus

And now we’re slightly weathered, we’re slightly worn
Our hands grip together eye to eye through the storm yet
I still believe in ever after with you, yeah
Coz life is a pleasure with you by my side
And there ain’t no current in this river we can’t ride
I still believe in ever after with you
Nothing compares to the good times
Feels like we’re floating when the rest have to climb
You made me believe in love and not the perfect kind
A real messy beautiful twisted sunshine
Emotions volcanic eruptions
We both still care so we’re still alive
Tunnel vision, determination
I want you
I want to make it right

Chorus

You are my twisted sunshine
You are my twisted sunshine

UST fever..

2005-09-20T14:07:00.000+08:00

Yeah! UST won! wuhooo

ang manhid mo!!!

2005-09-20T02:41:00.000+08:00

*cry*
why? sabi mo u want to talk, tapos babawiin mo
then magrereklamo ka na masungit ako! nakanangpucha! yan ang hirap sayo eh! iniisip mo lang sarili mo hindi mo man lang isipin na my tao rin nagaalala sayo! nakakainis ka! ang manhid mo! nahihirapan na ako! hindi ko na talaga to kaya! ang sakit na ng dibdib ko! gusto kitang sapakin, sipain o kung anu pa! bakit ka ganyan?! masaya ka na? ha? sana for once think about the people who care about you... i know u have lots of friend who care for you... pero sana isipin mo na my isang tao na nahihirapan na nakikita kang ganyan! urgh nakakainis ako!! bakit ba ako ganito?! sawa na ako sa nararamdaman ko!!!
kanina... moment of silence. fuck! i really dont exist in your world na ba?! bakit? kasi mataray ako?! tangina!! i look so fuckin stupid! u passed by then un kasama ko lang papansinin mo?! are you blind im there too!! dont tell me u didnt saw me!! urghh nakakainis sarap magyosi, maglasing or mamatay kung pwede.!! whadapak!! a happy birthday to me!!! deym!! this is the worst birthday of my life...
oh yea hindi pala.. 2nd worst cuz the 1st one un ng break tayo
and i thank you for that
now iv realized im so stupid to be doing this!

why do we love?

2005-09-17T16:16:00.000+08:00

so we can have somebody to talk to?
someone who'll always be there to accompany you whenever you want to go out?
a person who will always treat you and give you gifts??
a person who will bring your stuffs all day?? a helper in short??
what if he/she doesn't love you?? would you still love him/her??
would you still continue to care for that person? WHY NOT???
you didn't love that person for you to have a helper..to have free meals and wonderful gifts..
a person who do homeworks and projects for you..or someone you can ask to go out and accompany youanytime you want..
If that's what you think about LOVE.. well i'm sorry coz you're being superficial!
loving a person doesn't need to have a criteria that he/shes hould be pretty or handsome that he/she should be kind and understanding coz once you fall inlove you take the risk of accepting that person..
even if he/she snores in his/her sleep even if he/she is fat and eats too much and you don't fit in the car even if he/she is very moody and it's getting in to your nerves even if he/she is a very jealous person that he/she even get jealous with your friends everything that would truly turn you off!
it's really hard to love
you try to be perfect with everything coz you want the relationship to last but that's not the answer to all of this...
ACCEPTING THE REAL PERSON FULLY!!!
coz if you say that you love him/her you don't need to find answers why you love him/her everybody changes but if you accept that person even if he/she change in the middle of your relationship you won't get hurt coz you know that moment will come in time and you accept him/her as a whole it's hard to do but it's really nice if you try coz there will be no other thing that will make you truly happy but to let the other person feel that you love him/her so much unconditionally and you're not asking or expecting anything in return... then you will realize and say...
WOW!! that's what we call LOVE!!!

*sigh* mybe i was trap to this so called love thang*

kailanman

2005-09-15T19:38:00.000+08:00

nasan na sya ngayon
hinahanap mo hindi mo alam
lahat nang iyong gagawin
nawala siya sa piling mo
ang puso kong itoy,
inaalay ko sayo lamang
kayat wag nang magdaramdam,
pagibig koy sayo nagdaraan

*kailanman di kita masasaktan
kahit na anong mangyari tayo ay magmamahalan
at sa pag sapit nang dilim,
hindi mawawalay pagibig ko ay tunay
kailanman

bakit ba ganito,
kung sino pa ang inibig mo
yun pa nangloko sayo
hindi na yata tama ito
at di na magkakaganon
kung ako ang pipiliin mo
pangako di mabibigo
ako ay iyong iyo..

*sigh... isa sa mga kantang gusto ko marinig kantahin nang guy for me hahaha*

i am just another...

2005-09-15T15:31:00.000+08:00

To the rain, Im just another drop
To the ocean, Im just another wave
To the sunrise, Im just another ray
To the arms of an angel, Im just a bit of comfort
To the disturbed nights, Im just another fading dream
To the wishes of a lover, Im just another care
To the rhythm of a heart, Im just another beat
To the scream of a lonely girl, Im just another wail
To the eyes of a broken heart , I'm just another excuse
Another way I failed to grasp the truth
Reality does not go well with individualit.

***

someone asked me if i love someone at this moment, I told them yea I guess I do, then you passed at my thoughts… do I love you? Maybe I do or maybe im just enjoying your company. So another question was entertained: so your telling me that your over with your ex? When they asked that question I felt like someone drop a piano on my head and i was like “uuhhh?” once again my brain cells are struggling. Haha yes I admit these questions that I am scared to hear. Sucks right magalit na ang gusting magalit I don’t care. But when I see him I felt something inside (don’t think dirty) I was talking bout my heart. Ahaha. I know his been through the roughest times in his life, especially now. Still he is the guy iv known na matatag. Saludo ako sayo! And for that my heart is falling again… sa ground.. and worst I lost it…haha

too bad this has to end… its late I have projects to finish.. ahaha

*thanks to beshiee for helping me finish that poem.. luv u besh…* kelan tayo mag aano? Ahaha (dumi ng isip)

sudden love...

2005-09-08T14:35:00.000+08:00

In the midst of rain and sun
Only a fragrance remains
A fragrance...

In the midst of war and peace
Only a whisper remains
A whisper...

Love Nothing but
A whisper
A Fragrance
Lingering momentarily and forever
Fading...

*i feel so sad... i should stop feelin this way *sigh*

big brother?

2005-09-07T02:41:00.000+08:00

yes i admit.. im so into big brother.. haha i love reality shows.. and i really have to say this CASS U ARE ONE HELLA SUPER ARTE YOU KNOW!! YEA YOU SHOULD KNOW!!! hahaha galet ba?? u got great bod nga napunta naman ang brains mo sa boobs mo... tsk tsk.. to the fans of cass.. uhh think about it.. are you sure ur a fan?? wag nyo tingnan ang physical features nya.. haha brains na po kelangan ngayon... err walang sense haha.. basta i dont like her... *pfffttt*

MADAMI KA BANG LOAD??? BE HELPFUL AND HELP FRANZEN STAY ON THE BIG BROTHER HOUSE..

Text BB(space)Franzen to 2331 for Sun and Globe Subscribers and 231 for Smart, TalkN'Text and Addict Mobile Subscribers.

come one share ur load and help him stay... he deserves to stay... maga sosyalera lang sila kaya hindi nila kayang pakisamahan si franzen...

share ur load nah.. haha vote franzen..

*biatttchiiiin*

**
oh greetings to the up commin beedayssss

italy so layooo-- ange *sept 3 (belated~~)
my purdee sisshyy-- nalynz *sept 9
one of a kind frensheep-- nolan *sept 10
obmc machittoo-- coco *sept 13
motessorian frenships-- katrina *sept 16
rockisshhtahh-- star *sep 16
gorgeouusss-- ako ahahah *sep 20 (f*ck im 20 on the 2oth of sept)
purdee soulmate-- fatsy *sep 20 same kami kaya soulmate*
woooshhh-- michael *sep 29
my purdee cousin-- annelyn *sep 29
who else?? haha

a happy day...

2005-09-03T09:10:00.000+08:00

I finished my photo shoot today, yeheyyyy it was fun because I wont be able to bug my cute model, paint using mascara, travel back and forth to suhweetss hause, buy Colpan black and white film and last I wont be able to spend much on the friggin contact prints. Ahahah ayos* no more spot light, and shadowing chuvalu.
***
struggle na naman next week. Monday: package design plate, studies for the next photo project, passing of 8hr (panning/sports, lines/depths), passing of colored contact print and lastly debate for ad prac. Monday palang struggle nah.. yai.. Tuesday: passing of 15x20 calendar wahaai*. Wednesday: nude oil painting again. Thursday: as usual Prof. Caaway again. Friday: photo again, model na naman.. wahaaii gastos na naman..

on the bright side Friday night life ko mabubuhay ulet weehee.. ill be attending a fashion show and I will be taking some pixies.. yey* and on Saturday night another photo documentary on Rachelle Anne Go’s birthday bash. Yey* my chance to meet Christian Bautista *kilig* hehe
***
I wont be able to be with my close friends on that day nga lang. sorry charm, eric, chie n nalynz… next time nalang siguro.. duty calls eh.. sigh.. I miss you guys nah*
***
haf u ever felt sad when ur expecting someone to say thank you after u do her a really big favor. Tipong ikw na nga un tinulungan ikaw pa un parang kelalang magpasalamat. Asar* iuno I just felt bad…

bitchin friggin (&(^$%^#$@$@#!@

crime scene.. _

2005-08-24T17:26:00.000+08:00

yai.. freaky.. I just witnessed a crime scene kanina… good thing I arrived 2o minutes earlier or else I was there… i left school early after I took some photos, cant wait for the driver so i took a jeep, then went to the optical shop. Minutes later we heard 3 gunshots and people were like running and some came inside the shop. So my dad rushed outside and my mom followed. I freaked out cause im scared that there is a possible that the killer is still there and they might salvage my parents *haha* just concern noh! So me rin I have to run outside to see where my parents at kahit na im so scared to look. I saw the guy who got shot on his head… take note sa HEAD waaaaa blood rushed through his face and he got 2 shots pa sa chest. I feel like fainting and vomiting. Ya know? Freaky yung feelings.. urrghh tapos no police came even the barangay tanods don’t care, people where shouting for help, nobody seems to care. Para bang palage nang nagyayare dun un crime.. so sad lang cuz the guy died… he was shaking pa nga then fell to the ground and died. Just that… poor guy… and the friggin killer just run off.. as in supper bilis. Now im having a Goosebumps* sigh.. lets just pray for that guys soul… kawawa naman un family nya…

ito ang problema sa pilipinas pag kailangan mo ang mga magtatangol sayo dun sila nawawala. Pero when it come to raid and stuffs andun sila… ofcors they need money.. lahat nadadaan sa lagay ngayon// the wolrd turned upside down na talaga.. pati maga utak ng tao nagsibaliktaran nah.. parang ako haha*

*peycee**
urrrgghh chx is soo friggin bitch… she’s not even purdee enough to be one.. eee*** bitchh bitchhh bitchh *** hahahahaha

*amen*

cream soda lollipop

2005-08-22T19:13:00.000+08:00

Its already 3 am.. but here I am updating my blog when Im supposed to be doing my critic paper. Hmmm.

I want cream soda lollipop.. *yum* my little sister is licking one kaninang afternoon, so I approached her “reshma, pahinge akuu” and again my sister’s famous words “ayaw ko” waaa I was like urrgghhh “sabunutan kaya kita” hehe kidding aside so I told my mom that I want one too, so she bought me rin.. hehehe batang isip ako! *yey**

i wonder.. hummm how do u know if he’s really into you? If he’s really concern, truthful uhmm un tipong feeling mo he’s serious per your scared to know the truth.. well what to be scared of ba?? Haii ewan ko ba.. ito na naman si nilam ang pinaka madramang tao sa mundo and to take note MATARAY pah! Sus* im not naman eh.. urghh…

Breaking News:: me happy again?? Haha why kaya… yikes* well, my “unano” was the reason to all this mess.. haha mess ba?? Tsk tsk.. [ to unano:: *laugh* I know u will be reading this one.. hahah yiheee] ayan siguro naman u know na what I am trying to say… well, I jaz wana say THANX.. for some cause I would say ur one of the reasons why am I smiling.. *nakana* ahaha yihee ng blush na sya whahaha,,,, and I would be glad if you’re here.. goodluck nalang sa dad ko.. and sa dad mo.. hahaha we should learn how to deal with our dad’s hahaha… araaitee?

GREETINGS:: my sweets *rizza* jaz celebrated her 19th birthday yesterday August 21, 2005… wala lng.. just sharing!!** happy bday sweets *mwah*

now i feel so much pain within...

2005-08-18T14:59:00.000+08:00

it sucks when uv waited for sumthin and then it never came... sumthin like that.. i feel like this thing is a big joke. it hurts cuz i expected sumthin that i shouldnt be expecting. urghh.. i dont know if im making any sense i just want to write down what am i feeling right now.

1. depressed
2. mad
3. alone
4. rejected
5. hurt

jaded...

2005-08-14T15:33:00.000+08:00

Its my break… im done making my 1st paper bag and I have to finish the small one… my paste sux haha.. iv spent 500 pesos for the printing.. urrhh I have no money left.. oh yeah I still got 40 pesos haha.. newayz im tired I haven’t had a good sleep. Twas 4 a.m. kanina that I felt so tired and surrendered in front of the pc… I woke up late kanina… again rushed to the washroom took a bath and went to school… deym…

***
i feel that I am hiding behind a mask… it feels so weird parang all of a sudden people change, one snap lang iba na… I may be a little paranoid lang.

***
I should make bawas my katarayan na… im not naman eh… I just don’t get it, people mistaken me for being mataray. Mybe they just don’t have the guts to talk to me. Ohwell ako na ang mauunang kumausap sayo *kinakabahan* atleast im gonna try dava?

***
I was fixing my shoes kanina… I saw my happy feet clogs… and they seems to be unhappy anymore, I kinda fell inlove when I saw them and I used them for like everyday.. and now it looks exhausted. They deserve a day off *laughs*

***
well, this past weeks my butt seems to love sitting in front of the pc… first because I have tons of projects to finish, secondly is I love talking to this “special” friend of mine… and third, im online again.. hahah. Basta im having fun talking to him, and he always makes me smile.. *naks*

***
im sleepy nah! *yawn* goodnight sweet twilight*

tamis tamisan...

2005-08-12T05:00:00.000+08:00

its been a while since i last posted here sa blog.. busy with school, stuffs, life, etc. but im pleased to say that im okai nah!! haha in my past blogs u can see how crazy i am. Not typical crazy ah… but the way I posted my journals you know na what I am trying to say. Newayz… its been 1 week narin pala.. haha this weekend im going to change my layout.. I think ill make this white.. hehe.. wala lng..

***

now lets talk about my thoughts.. I am in the state of puzzlement. I don’t know what is love to what is like? I don’t even know how to love anymore… a close friend of mine wrote me a letter a week ago. The letter was all about how lucky they are to have me as their friend, how lucky my parents to have me as their daughter and lastly how lucky naman daw the one I love blah blah… parang ako… how can I be so lucky? Yea I got great friends and family but happiness? That’s the question I’ve been trying to ask myself. Stash also wrote “Happiness comes not because we love to do great things but because we do small things with great love.” A good quote right? I told Stash I don’t know happiness anymore. Its easy to say that im happy. Yea im happy when im with my friends, they are the one who ease the pain ive been hiding for a long time. Have you felt that your happiness is left somewhere? Yea I admit I lost my happiness since the day the twilight left me… sucks right. They say that talking to the one that has your happiness can forever change what’s been bugging my mind. Its like facing your worst fear. Whats worst is accepting that I should let go, I should move on, and be happy with my life.

Stash wrote: “sana hindi ka mapagod at magsawang magmahal kasi napakasarap ng feeling na may isang especial na nilam na nagmamahal sayo…” nakakapagod din pala magmahal noh? I know that for a fact, why? I have witnessed what love can do, I have experienced how to be love, be hurt and learn to love someone and its having me a hard time to let go… here I go again being mushy… 3 months to go another year will come, will I be able to move on with my life? Hay… now its hard for me to know if I love someone… cause deep inside me there is someone I long for, someone my soul lost, the one I truly love. Sino ba siya? (tawa*)

“tayo ay nabubuhay dahil sa tumitibok an gating puso at di dahil nakikita an gating mga mata” famous quotes from Stash.

31 things about me [survey]

2005-07-22T13:33:00.000+08:00

1. YOUR HOROSCOPE?]
- virgo
2. SiNGLE OR TAKEn?
- single (=
3. iN LoVe?
- yea i guess
4. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN SERIOUSLY HURTBY THE PERSON YOU LOVEd?
- yup.. we both got hurt i guess. or me lang wahihi
5. WHAT WOULD BE YOUR REASON iF YOU TURNED SUiCiDAL?
- tired of my messed up life.. arranged marriage whaha
6. iS SUiCiDE REALLY KiLLiNG YOURSELF?
- it depends kung wa effect un suicidal mo.. if your alive then lagot ka sa parents mo
7. COUNTRY OR CLASSiC?
- classic. *i like rock pinoy bands*
8. PREFER CUTE/iDiOT OR SMART/UGLY?
- middle hehe
9. ARE YOU iN A STABLE RELATiONSHiP WiTHYOUR BF/GF?
- happen to have NONE ahaha
10. YOU`D EXPECT A TEXT MESSAGEUSUALLY FROM..
- my friends.. my enemies whaha
11. HAVE A BEST FRiEND THAT iS iN THE OPPOSiTE GENDER?
- yup.. si keng =) martz madame ako best na friends ;)
12. WHAT DO YOU LiKE DOiNG WHEN YOU`RE DEPRESSED?
- eat. cry and listen to sentimental songs
13. CHEERFUL OR BORiNG?
- cheerful...
14. DESCRiBE A PERFECT DATE..
- sunset. sittin on the shore. a guy playing a guitar while singing my favorite song.. *kilig whaha
15. EVER WONDERED WHY NOBODY KNOWS WHY THE SKY iS BLUE?
- i wonder.. why you wonder
16. EVER BEEN HURT BY LOVE?
- a lot.. mybe i fell inlove witht he right guy but in the wrong time... uhh /?
17. WiLL YOU EVER MAKE THE SAMEMiSTAKE AGAiN? WITH LOVE???
-i dont know... mybe..
18. EVER HATED ANYONE LiKE HELL?
- yeah..
19. DO YOU DO ANYTHiNG WHEN A PERSON BREAKS UP WiTH YOU AFTER ONE DAY?
- cry cry and cry and then drink get drunk then cry get drunk cry get drunk and vomit.. whaahha
20. GiVE ONE WORD THAT BEST DESCRiBESWHAT YOU`RE FEELiNG NOW.
- soul searchin? ay one lng pala... down
21. DO YOU BELiEVE iN YOURSELf?
- yea.. i guess hehe
22. EVER PHYSiCALLY HURT YOURSELF?
- not really
23. EVER VERBALLY HURT YOURSELF?
- i guess
24. MOTTO iN LiFE?
- live love burn die
25. HAVE YOU EVER DOUBTED THAT SOMETiMES?
- yea
26. HAVE YOU EVER HAD FEELiNGS ABOUT A FRiEND FROM THE OPPOSiTE GENDER?
- yea.. and its hard
27. iF YES, WHAT DiD YOU DO ABOUT iT?
- better think if love or friendship.. than nothing at all
28. iS FAME & MONEY THE MOST iMPORTANTTHiNGS iN YOUR LiFE?
- nope.. i really dont care if im famous.. as long as me and my family can eat 6 times a day whahaha
29. DO YOU MAKE ANY MOVEMENTS OR SOUNDS WHEN YOU`RE SLEEPiNG?
- makulit ako ma2log.. actually i cant sleep at all
30. ARE YOU DiFFiCULT TO WAKE UP?
- nope
31. HOW OFTEN DO YOU SLEEP?
- usually 18 hrs a day whahahaha

love and appreciate [if only movie]

2005-07-19T13:11:00.000+08:00

IF ONLY: this movie is super superb.. i cried on this movie.. my heart was so hurt. hai.. super sad ng movie. one of the best love stories i ever watched this year... good thing i have a pack of tissue to wipe our tears.. sigh.. this movie knocks me off. its a strange feeling when you watch movie.. its just a typical movie with a twist. i love the song.. i liked the line when jennifer told paul "I don't want to be adored, I wanna be loved". one of the best part of the movie.. oh yeah the part where paul [ian] told sam that he love him and realized that she was his life blah blah..batsa this movie touched my heart sooo much.. and still i fill the ache.. parang nagyare sakin.. haii... its sosad talaga

***
this is the kind of movie that would just leave you there at your seats staring at the widescreen even after it is over. The effect of this movie on you will linger and youll probably be thinking about it before you sleep. Itll keep you guessing on how it is gonna end. I really liked this movie although I hate sad endings. cause it really happen to some of us. not the same ending but still sad ones. the message of the movie is quite simple: "If you love someone, you gotta say it, show it, make them feel how much you love him because life is too short and you'll never know what can happen next"

take my heart back - jennifer love hewitt [if only movie]

2005-07-19T12:46:00.000+08:00

It'll be alright
You said
Tommorrow
Don't you cry
Don't you shed a tear
When you wake up I will still be here
When you wake up
We'll battle all your fears
And now I'll...
Take my heart back
Leave your pictures on the floor
Steal back my memories
I can't take it anymore
I've cried my eyes out
Oh,and now I face the years
The way you loved me
Vanished all the tears
Just a little more time was all we needed
Just a little time for me to see
Oh,the light that life can give you
Oh,how we get such a free
So now I'll...
Take my heart back
Leave your pictures on the floor
Steal back my memories
I can't take it anymore
I've cried my eyes out
Oh,and now I face the years
The way you loved me
Vanished all the tear..

***
LOVE WILL SHOW YOU EVERYTHING

Today, today I bet my life You have no idea What I feel inside Don't, be afraid to let it show For you'll never know If you let it hide I love you You love me Take this gift and don't ask why Cause if you will let me I'll take what scares you Hold it deep inside And if you ask me why I'm with you And why I'll never Leave Love will show you everything One day When youth is just a memory I know you'll be standing right next to me I love you You love me Take this gift and don't ask why Cause if you will let me I'll take what scares you Hold it deep inside And if you ask me why I'm with you And why I'll never Leave My love will show you everything My love will show you everything My love will show you everything My love will show you everything

i cried on this story .. sigh

2005-07-13T03:21:00.000+08:00

Time past by... Things change... We cannot even bring back the old times you've been together but through this story you've always learn a lesson...a lesson that will surely bring your life to success....let us listen to a love story which make your heart unfortunately inlove...
Joey and Shiela are classmates. Both of them entered the same school, same room. But the communication for the two has not yet started. They don’t even ask assignments. Projects or even quizzes before. As time passed by... And their destiny started to bloom...their teacher decided to change their sit plans... Joel and Shiela are now seatmates. Something was bothering to Shiela why is it that Joel should be his seatmates for about the whole school year? She knew that Joel is a serious and silent type of guy but she is unfortunately a talkative one. She is thinking how they can communicate with one another. And Joel knew at all that Shiela had a crush on her before.... Joel was shy enough to ask question to her but because Shiela is the liberal one... she asked him if he knows the words written in their board. Joel answered her" I love you"... What? Shiela said... You were asking me before what was in the board didn't you? It is the word... But Shiela is near sighted that are why she asked that and don’t even read anything in their board because they sited in the back... Joel is curious on her. He saw Shiela not copying their lecture. He asks her, "Why are you not copying our lecture Shiela?" she said that I can’t read what's in the board. Can I make you a favor? He answered "sure". Can I borrow your notebook in order for me to cope what's in the board?" Shiela asked. Joel agreed and everyday they talk to each other and Shiela still continuing to borrow his notebook... And as they talk and share all their knowledge and experience everyday a special relationship started to bloom. Their love story has started. Joel asked if Shiela can be his girl... Shiela was shocked. And she doesn’t know what to answer. But someone still saying on her ears “GO GIRL'' this is your chance.... She answered YES!!!... After 2 years and finally they will graduate in March Shiela was thinking why Joel doesn’t entered the school or about 2 weeks... She went to Joel’s house but unfortunately he's not there. The only person in the house was the maid and she told Shiela that Joel is in US.. a txt message on midnight was received by her. It was Joel's message. The txt said..."sorry Shiela I don’t even have time to go to you and say goodbye, I sorry… always rmmbr that I love you... Hope to see you soon... I miss you... please hug me when I went home..muaahhh...
After 2 days, the telephone rang... it was Joel’s mom... she's crying and said" Shiela can you please went here on the NAIA airport...as soon as possible... ahuhuhu... Joel’s body is arriving now... you mean you didn’t know? Shiela said "what? His mother replied" Joel suffers from malignant brain tumor and it was in stage 4... So we decided to send him in America to heal by the doctor but they confirmed that he only have 5 months.... sorry Shiela... My son's last word was you... She really love you iha.....

im scared of my friggin dreams..

2005-07-04T16:09:00.000+08:00

we people sometimes wish that dreams could come true.. pero for me i wish that i dont dream thins kind of stuff.. im in the point that i dont like to sleep anymore cuz of this friggin dreams.. well its not about monsters or ghost. its what's been happenin to my life.. if u know me or u happen to read my previous post u will know what am i talking about.. seroiusly im scared to sleep cuz i dont want to dream about him bein a friggin sereial killer or seeing him with the fuckin bitch, treating my mom like a friggin maid, seein him spending his fuckin money to some lame poeple. ohwels he told us his rich.. oh fuck!! we dont nid his fuckin money.. kainin nya nalng at mabulunan till he die.. im mad again.. urghh i know.. i know its bad to say sumthin like this.. its bad to curse someone especially ur relatives. pero pantay lng.. he's doing sumthing bad im saying sumthin bad then.. urghh what im doing right now is spending money.. tutal his rich namn eh.. go to hell!!! even my sister told me kanina na ms gsgstuhin pa nyang mamatay cia. ohwels cgro nga.. if he still keep on lying whats the point of living pa.. maka diyos pa namn sya.. urghhhh

ohwels./ i dont know na .. bahala na si god samin.. hayyy buhay nga namn oh.. i wonder how do other teens handle this kind of situation.. cause i need help,.. i cant handle this.. cant handle seein him everyday.. if only i could kick him out of our house.. hehe wish ko lng.. asar talaga!!!

what icons are for meeh?

2005-07-04T08:09:00.000+08:00

What Icons are for you? by ladyallie
Username
Favourite Colour
Sex
Your Love icon is...
Your Sad Icon is...
Your Happy Icon is...
Your Angry Icon is...
Your Food Icon is...
Your Animal Icon is...
Your Random Icon is...
Your Cartoon Icon is...
Your Sexy Icon is...

Quiz created with MemeGen!

if killing was legal...

2005-06-24T15:26:00.000+08:00

tang ina!! whohhooo sarap magmura ng malakas un tipong lahat naririnig.. urrhhh if only killing a person is legal kanina ko pa sinugod yung demonyong un para patayin... waa ayos na sana un day na toh.. pero some fucking things happend.. things that arnt supposed to be happening. lalo na sa taong ayokong masaktan.. tang ina talaga.. just wait if i see u.. im goin to crush ur friggin thing... kung pwede lng kita papatay imah do that.. err.. wait ka lng ng time mo i will come back for you.. hindi ka magiging masaya sa buhay mo tandaan mo yan.. fuck m*****!!!!!

depressing..

2005-06-23T16:17:00.000+08:00

Sigh… today is a depressing day. First I kept on listening over and over to the song “wishing on the same star”. Second I cried twice this morning. Third I was seated beside the person I don’t wish to seat with. Fourth, the lecture was all about marriage/ relationship/ family. Fifth I wasn’t able to meet my expectations on the friggin nude painting. Lastly my closest friend called me and he was so sad. Sigh... this things happened today. How did I handle it?? I did not... I just want to break down, cause I am really tired… hectic schedules, different rooms, no more cigarettes to puff… coke instead of coffee... urrghh I am actually not making any sense.

All I really want to do right now is to cry... Cry out loud. I just hope that no one would see nor hear me... sigh… There are lots of questions that I can’t answer right now… like why do I have to fall in love with that same person? Why do I long for that person? Is he thinking of me right now? Does he love me still? Urghhh questions I am scared to ask my friends, scared to open it up all over again… to be continued…

wishing on the same star.. =S

2005-06-22T16:45:00.000+08:00

It's so hard to leave you
I don't really wanna go
I don't wanna say goodbye to youIt's the last thing
I wanna doBut I won't be sad now
Cuz til your in my arms again
You'll be inside of my heart
And wherever I go
We'll never really be apart
We'll be wishing on the same star
Looking at the same moon
When you're thinking of me, babyI'll be thinking of you
And no matter where I goI will be there with you
Wishing on the same star
Lookin at the same moon
It's not really over
Baby, it will never be
Long as you keep me in your heart
I'll be there anywhere you are
And when you feel sad
Remember all the love we shared
And when you're feelin alone
Well, just look up in the sky
Oh, and baby, so will I
We'll be wishing on the same star
Looking at the same moon
When you're thinking of me, babyI'll be thinking of you
And no matter where I goI will be there with you
Wishing on the same star
Lookin at the same moon
No matter where you turn around
It's the same sun that keeps shining down
Wherever we'll be, I know that we'll be
Wishing on the same star
We'll be wishing on the same star
Looking at the same moon
When you're thinking of me, baby
I'll be thinking of you
And no matter where I go
I will be there with you
Wishing on the same star
Lookin at the same moon

to the sly and cunning by sponge cola

2005-06-22T14:35:00.000+08:00

Draw the line
Slightly submissive
She faints in time
Opens her mouth in reflex
Something comes out soon
We all make room
Numbs the senses
Take me up and down again
Caise i know youre the one for me
Flowing movements
She paints the night
Releases rabid kisses
Something comes on
We all get some
Whats my sentence
Hand to thigh
Neck to sky
Up above
Had i been there

here i go again..

2005-06-21T15:17:00.000+08:00

anna ish right... love shud come with a manual.. humm wer could i buy that thing.. harhar.. i hate this day.. not because i hate the subjects.. its jaz i hate the fact that i should seat beside person i ignore.. waaa its so hard.. wala akong makausap.. sa left ignore. sa right smile lng.. urrhhh asar tlaga.. tapos sa likod c paul todo asar sakin.. sigh... anu ba gagawin koh?? carla told me that i should say what i feel.. i tried to keep and ignore this friggin feelings.. i just shut up and act like these things did not happen to meeh... pero neon.. i dont know here i go thingking about lotz of stuff.. i wana do sumthin.. but i cant.. i wana say sumthin but my mind is tellin me not to say those things cuz i will regret it forever.. pero what to regret pa?? lots of stufz happend to meeh nah.. i just dont want to think bout it nah.. ohwel.. ii think i should sleep nah .. sigh..

senti... hummmm

2005-06-19T15:57:00.000+08:00

kanina sa jeep.. ngusap kami ni eric bout relationships.. how to avoid them and stuffz,, i post sumthin 3 months ago na love can never be erased.. well tama tlga,.. ok na ako ngayon.. the problem is... why is this happening to me?? 3 of my subjects sux.. they suck becaus you have to seat alphabetically and that means i have to seat beside the person i really dont wish to be my seatmate.. urhhh.. its so hard for me to study nor concentrate on the lecture.. waaaa

help!!! i need help.. guidance probably... i still remeber what stash told me... bitter daw ako pero deep inside i long for sumthin.. she can see daw thru my eyes.. the way i look.. waa anu ba ang dapat gawin?? im so over this thing na.. but when i see him... i admit i go fallin again.. wrong it is.. everytime i tell myself to stop fallin.. the more i tried to ignore the more i long for sumthin.. waaaa its so hard.. this is the 1st time that this happens to me.. maraming magagalet i know... besh im sorry i jaz cant help myself.. haii.. ang dami problems sa buhay ko.. well.. cgro ill stop duin this thing.. when i dont have tears to cry and no friends to cryon... is that makin any sense/// deng.. ohwel its kinda late so i have to sleep... mwah

SHUTTER.. waaaa

2005-06-19T15:31:00.000+08:00

asar... me and eric watched shutter kaninang lunch time.. IT WAS SO SCARY!!! waaa im scared na tuloy to take pictures.. malas pa my photography class me and which we should stay sa dark room.. waaaaaaaaaaaa creepy talaga promise... and now i should stop making wento about this cuz im havin goosebumps.. waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

a happy day...

2005-06-18T13:15:00.000+08:00

ohwel.. today is a happy day cuz im with my beautiful frends hehe.. whole day ayos! we haf met our photography prof.. yikes si mam nadi waa... pero seems fun.. picture na toh... and vigan here we go wee... yay.. i haf to buy a manual camera worth 16 thou.. hai sakit sa bulsa hehe... neways i need it namn eh,... and passion ko rin ang feektyurr ahaha.. steegeen din logic class namin.. ohwels kanina pala... cuz we had a little activity which was given by the prof. he asked the 1st row to write a sentence that starts with "why?" then on the 2nd row namn "because".. tapos random mg ask and answer ng question.. twas funny kasi un iba walang sense.. pero when tasha's turn to ask her question was "why won't you let me love you?" then the prof told me to answer that.. eh, ang sinulat ko is "because god know's whats best for me". haha my sense... asteegeen...wala lng.. saktong sakto.. sabi ng mga clasmates ko awwww. hehehe ala lng..

ang sakeet ng tyann kuh.. nasobrahan ako ng isaw.. naka 7 sticks ako.. ganun ko namis ang isaw sa p.noval ehehe.. bukas uleet

late again...

2005-06-17T14:34:00.000+08:00

i thought my class was 5-9 p.m. so i went to school exactly 5 pm. when i went to the room wala na lahat ng blockmates ko... then i finally realized and looked at my reg form. 4 pala.. yikes.. major subject ko absent agad ako.. haii.. asar tlga.. iba na nga section ko umiral na nmn pagkatamd ko.. shikes... so there... after 1o mins of kamustahan sa ibang frenships i called eric.. we watched nalng batman begins... its kinda bizzare sa una.. weird kasi.. nakalimutan patayin un lights sa muvie hauz eh ngstart na un muvie.. then ang weird pa ng first part ng muvi.. iuno.. mybe im a lil sleepy kaya d ko naintindihn.. heheh ohwels its nice parin... sana d nalng si christian bale.. mas hot pa si cillian murphy a.k.a dr. jonathan crane.heheh ala lng..

sana i could watch shutter.. sabi scary daw tlga eh... geez.. im out of money na.. i bought bamboo's newest single pah.. well worthit namn.. yey.. nxt week showing na un monster in law.. another movie to watch..

im so excited this yr mgshowing na un harry potter and the goblet of fire.. by november pa cgro ... ohwels...

gotta sleep maaga class tomorrow, dont want to be late kasi my photography class.. weee

school is back again...

2005-06-16T03:35:00.000+08:00

sigh... good thing my pasok na namn.. atleast i can be busy with sumthin else na.. haii.. and good thing lahat ng class ko 4-9p.m.

neways.. had fun yesterday.. jaz wana say thanx to eric n nalynz for bein there for me.. and for makin me smile kahit na sandali lng.. the best tlga keo.. had fun watchin mr. mrs. smith.. steegeen.. hehe.. next time ulet ah.. sana shutter kasi.. para horror namn ulet..

okai gotta take a bath... class ako later.. yikes...

i kill myself with questions

2005-06-15T01:39:00.000+08:00

I dont know what to write. I dont even know what to think. I just want to cry. I want to cry till I run out of tears and am numb in everything. I dont want to suffer this kind of feeling. It hurts.. it hurts a lot. This dilemma I cant get out. I don’t know what to do.. I ask too many questions cuz I can’t understand. Or maybe I just cant accept the fact that this is over.

I am tired of people that are deceitful around me, around my love ones. I hate you! I hate you for hurting the one that I love. I hate you but still I love you. I try to ignore but I cant. I try to force myself to understand you, your situation. But I cant! I need help, guidance from you, but where are you? Yea I know u can everything, anything we like just one snap its there, but the love? The love that you’re asking from us?? You know we love you. You just don’t see or feel it because you’re busy with something else, something more important than us.

now you know what have you done?? You ruined everything. You ruined our lives. I am so angry... but she told me not to be angry to you... Fuck that! After what you’ve done do you think I am not going to be angry? What kind of person are you? A very religious chap and still youre doing things that against the god’s acts. Deym... I don’t know what to type.

Now I understand why things happen... things like this happen to us. Still questions are killing me why the fuck you’re still untruthful and you what? We know the truth. We know everything. Dont treat us like a kid. We understand what’s happening. This is your fault. Its not her fault. We value everything you’ve done to us. We are proud of you. But now I dont know anything, I just know I hate you and so mad at you. Now you make me hate me. I hate my life. I hate that friggin bastard. I wish she dies, or if not I am going to find her and kill her with my own friggin hands...

I hate you…

Dear Dad

2005-06-07T13:50:00.000+08:00

I'm beginning to understand life less and less
everyday. When I was

young, I use to believe that I had actually had the world all figured out,

but now, as I grow, I know that having the world all figured out is

virtually impossible because I now realize that I will never understand

even the simplest things that life has to offer, like why people love who

they love, and why people fight with the ones they love the most.

People use to tell me that I was going to go places, that I was the one

that was actually going to be somebody . . . that somebody that my parents

never were, that somebody they long for me to be, and that somebody I have

always dreamed of becoming, not just to satisfy myself but also to satisfy

my family and those around me. Now it is as if my life has taken a 360

degree turn around the sharpest corner of life. I am so confused on

everything. I am now beginning to question all of my goals and

aspirations in life that I had once set for myself. Life is getting too

complicated for me, I'm to the point where I am just living day by day,

completely careless to those around me. Though I feel as if I have

everything in life that a girl could ask for - I have a lot of friends,

family, and a bestfriend that cares for me greatly, I feel more alone than

I ever have before. I just have this emptiness inside of me, and I don't

know how to fill it.

I say that I am in love, but who really knows what love is?

I guess I'm just another crazy teenager, taking one long ride on

the Roller Coaster of life. Where and when will this roller coaster stop?

Nobody knows, not even myself, all I know is I am ready to get off now.

Some days I just wish that I could be totally oblivious to the world and

other days I long for people to be around me.

I use to be a very caring person, I would do anything for anyone but now

it's as if I have no cares, and now worry about what people will think of me

if I don't do what is expected.

I have stopped living by what other people think of me and I have started

living how I want to live. I no longer act like the person I am not, I

show my true colors and many do not like them. Maybe that is why I am so

confused . . . I don't know who to satisfy, myself or the people that care

about me.

I don't think that I will ever understand this roller coaster and why I was

chosen to take this ride, right now I don't know if it will ever even come

to a complete stop, but until it does I guess I will just keep feeling

this way inside.

"anak ka lang"

feelings

2005-05-20T11:48:00.000+08:00

I feel so
empty
inside knowing that I cant
hold
you and
kiss
you, anymore ..

I wish you didnt
walk so close
and breathe so soft.
I wish you hadnt talked so
sweet
sometimes, or laid so
near.
Please dont let me care about
you
so much. Please let me
forget all those sweet
smiles,
all of the passion,
all of the peace,
the heat,
the pain.
All those blue skies
where you words were my
freedom.
Please dont let me care
about you so much. Too many times Ive cared too much. I stood on the edge and
saw that you held my hand
and knowing too well, I couldnt
hide from those eyes.
Please dont let me care about
you
so much.

here I go again..
falling
in love.. thinking of you..
wondering how you've
been.. how your living
without me in your life.. sigh.. I wonder such things could probably go
away..
sounds weird.. bare with me... I just cant let some things pass my
life...

…every time I see
your face
I think of how special
it could have been. Why did you have to let
me
go?

haiii

2005-05-19T13:30:00.000+08:00

hai..im sick..
im sad...
im alone..
sigh..

sick..

2005-05-13T15:57:00.000+08:00

hai.. its been a week since i last postd hir.. deng.. my pc crashed last sat and all my friggin files na supposdly imah print and me so engot d ako nakapgbackup soo ayun.. bye bye files... 4 thou mp3s gone... sigh... neways.. here i am onlyn again.. took 1 night to reformat my friggin pc.. thnx to nalynz haha..

***

theres nuthin wrong namn when u make tampo with ur siblings aite?/ its jaz i hate the fact na d nila nipapansin kung anu un feelings mu.. i know its lame pero still.. haii d ba ako sama sa baguio?? waaa this is so unfair.. !!!!! life is friggin unfair.. wud u beliv my mom told me to na wag ako sumama cuz wala mg stay sa shop.. err ako na namn!! palagi nlng ako ako ako.. kainis.. then what pa ate ko sasama?! with her friggin friends.. err.. kainis.. super sama ng loob ko kasi iiwan ako.. waa naintindihn mo ako sis nalynz dava? hehe told u namn kanina un story.. and eric forgt ko kwnto seo cuz nahihiya ako kay panch =)

***

its so fun kanina.. la lng.. need to share.. im with chie chie, eric, nalynz, and panch (fren ni eric from dlsu).. hehe we went at rob place.. btw hi to gem tulfo ( good to see u again =) and brenda pala (fren ni chie chie) and uhh rex (fren ni eric again) wahah puros bati ba?! neways.. i jaz wana say i had fun kanina.. as in superb fun... wala ako ginastos! wahaaha..
its so nice tlga when u see ur old frens.. grabe kaya i miss highschl eh.. now im starting to miss someone na namn.. haha engs tlga ako save ba nmn pix namin ni da who sa phne ko.. hehe feeling kami pa noh/! errr eto na namn ako... hehe ayun.. isa pa.. pg open ko ng frenster si piggie boi ko nakita kow.. waaaaa i miss him na... hehe wala na patutunguhan tong blog ko.. eeee,,, la ako sense.. babai muna

hi beshie... thnx sa help nung sang araw mwah

Prom - sugarfree

2005-05-02T06:55:00.000+08:00

Nanginginig na mga kamay
Puso kong hindi mapalagay
Pwede ba kitang tabihan
Kahit na may iba ka nang kasama
Ito na ang gabing di malilimutan
Dahan-dahan tayong nagtinginan
Parang atin ang gabi para bang wala tayong katabi
Nang tayoy sumayaw na parang di na tayo bibitaw
Nalalasing sa yong tingin
di malamn-laman ang gagawin
Habang lumalalim ang gabi ay
Lumalapit ang ating mga labi
Iyo na ang gabing di malilimutan
Tayoy naglakad ng dahan-dahan
Parang atin ang gabi para bang wala tayong katabi
Nang tayoy sumayaw na parang di na tayo bibitaw
Matapos man ang sayaw, pngakong di ka bibitaw

postin..

2005-04-28T17:01:00.000+08:00

as i was posting my new journal i was also textin carla.. one of my sweetness
in schl. =) nakana haha.. iuno.. im sad.. listening to tamia- smile.. it makes
me sad over and over again.. iuno why..

still doin this thing.. i told carla na i was writin a journal.. hehe she
does too.. ala lng jaz sharin.. sabi nya if she reads daw her journal napapa
tawa cia... i wish me too.. haha pansin ko palage nlng sad un sakin.. den she
told me na write ko daw:

HELLO GALING SAKEN- carla

hehe..para maging masaya nmn daw meeh hehe.. newayz i miss u gurl.. u teecee aite.. got2 xleep nawin.. work 2m..
sigh..

Feelings

2005-04-25T11:11:00.000+08:00

by: lamtsapp

I’ve seen you
in my dreams

I still can’t
explain how it feels…

I tried to
ask about the past

Making me
believe that your still here

For me to
know that I can feel…

I know its
sounds weird... oh boy!

I just want
to be relieved.

These past
few days I felt empty

Feel so alone
and feeling angry.

I don’t know
what to do? I’m me, I just miss you!

Missing the
old days, the days I spent with you.

I met
someone, so I could forget bout you

Still, I do
come back running after you.

What’s in you
I could not let go?

Your laugh?

Your smile?

Your hug?

Your kiss?

God I could
not resist.

What should I
do? It’s making me blue.

It’s hared to
let go. Oh please help me so.

Hurst the most - monica

2005-03-17T15:12:00.000+08:00

Boy its been a long time,
Since the last time I saw you
Feels like nothings changed
Since we�ve been together
I must admit that I�m still crazy �bout you
And I can see it in your eyes
That there�s something you wanna say to me
Cuzz usually right now you�d be holding on to me
But instead you�re telling me�.

That things have changed
They�re not the same
And recently you found someone that you
Decided to dedicate your whole life to
And what we had has got to be through

And baby what hurts the most
Is letting go
I just want you to know
That I love you so
And though things are different now
You�ve gone and settled down
I thought for sure you�d always wait for me
I�ll tell you what hurts the most
Is that I should�ve took the chance
Boy when you come to me and offered me your hand
Silly of me I thought, I�d always have your heart
I had the chance to have all your love
And oh how I�m missin you now

I hate that there�s someone new
Comin� in and taking my place
Doin things that we used to do
And making love to you��.no
What am I supposed to do
It�s killing me cuzz I want you
And you should�ve know my love was true
And there�s no one else in this world for me but you

I know that I�m the one to blame for losing you
Oh yeah�
I really really wish that I could be happy for you
There�s just one thing I need you to do
Don�t you touch her like you used to touch me
Don�t you love her like you really needed me
Don�t you love her like you used to love me

What hurts the most
Is letting go
Just let you know
I love you so

Drama Queen.. Must read!!

2005-02-21T09:45:00.000+08:00

this book.. waaaa its soo kakainlove.. well the story is all about kach, shes 26 and pretty, talentend, theater actress who has a real penchant for drama, lives off the refrigerators of her dearest childhood friends: nats, a cheft and a mother to kach ehehe, and jorge an overachieving research genius and a rich kid.

Kach had a legitimate role which is being a maid and she has to show of her boobs.. She sneaks up with a young stage actor sanchez. they make out evry breaks of their rehersal.. as in they make out in the bathroom, kitchen, or even beside the refrigerator.. and hid n the stage curtains.. ehehe

they got this killig affair which did not last.. hahaha.. kach ended up kissing his long time lovable geek bestfriend that turns to be one of the adorable guys you'll see passing by at makati..

while nats had fallen inlove with kach co stage actor andy (the robot sumthin sumthin guy) hehehe.. kach is jealous of angie one of her highschool friends who is dating his best friend jorge. kach was kinda jealous.. well she's always jealous when jorge is dating "good girls" ahaha

kach told nats that she and jorge kissed.. soo nats got mad and punch her hehehe...
kach end up cryng and down.. so to make the story short and i know im not making any sense.. hahaha

sanchez got a role in a international film which will be taken at vietnam.. so they have to end their non-committed i dont know basta sumthing like that..

months passed, angie broke up with jorge and the next thing was jorge is waiting at the theater .. waa i love this moment!! HEHEHE

bsta it ends up na jorge was saying "tayo nalng" waaaaaaaaaaaaaa
hehehe
eeee red the book promise its worth reading talaga.. hahaha

kakainlove tlga...

*peace*

i gotta take a bath na.. hihi

feelings for p.e boi ahaha

2005-02-20T18:20:00.000+08:00

Wow, I just realized that im really attracted to this guy in my p.e class. I am usualy not that kinda girl who really likes someone they dont know. But this guy- I couldnt take my eyes off of him. So my friends finally convinced me into talking to him, err i just dont have the guts to talk to him. Mybe not today but I will soon, before this will end. as i knew him from afar I can tell that hes sweet, he has the most amazing smile- and his eyes are so sexy. Wow, I am suprised to find myself still thinking about him, just somethin bout him! Ahh I can't get him out of my mind. I don't know what he thinks about me (i wish he knew me), I am not sure if I should go talk to him, I mean I want too- but I don't want to sound like a complete idiot. I am not SHY! Iam not really, ask anyone! Just for some reason I am scared to say the wrong thing too him! i really like him man, I hope theres a futre for us, if not more then friends, then really close friends. I even dreamed bout him last night. It was werid, Ive never felt this way about anyone..Well yea one time before- Nat..An I fell inlove with Nat, So mabye this time- it's ment too be. HAHA (wish)I guess we will have to wait and see. Anyway valentines just pass, whats next.. I can't wait to see him in our p.e class.. i sometimes see him at the hall passing by.. see him at the pav working with his projetcs.. waaa.. im crazy.. i need help i guess.. hahaha or I am just bein to exaj!? haha another story ..

after being so sentimental 30 mins ago here i am wonderin .. haha.. id better go to bed.. so much stuff to do tomorrow..

well goodnight for now
and a goodmorning sunshine later
err wala akong sense

Can you fall in love in one night?

2005-02-20T17:50:00.000+08:00

So, what do you all think?

Is it possible to fall IN love with someone in just, say, umm 8 hrs?

for example, you meet at a party after the pub, stay up all night talking and playing, and leave in the morning neither of you thinking about getting one another's number, just leaving things the way they were.

Or could it be that we THINK we fall in love, when in fact it is just a case of sheer unadulterated lust?

Anyone fallen in love in a night?
How long did it last?

haha im feeling weird about this one.. call me crazy for posting this.. im just bored and want to share this stuff..

--------------------------
i miss my p.e boi.. sighh

happy again?

2005-02-02T14:27:00.000+08:00

after sum u know... hahaha... its a lil funny.. im gna mke wento.. hehe i have a crush.. p.e mate ko.. ang cute.. medyo long un hair then naka tie. parang rocker na tipong boy next door.. hehe weird noh.. he look soo cute n nice.. hehe cute nya mg smile.. ahehe.. kaso d kami close.. un una d ko lam name nya.. kanina ko lng nalaman!! haha ala lng.. so happy kase d na ako sad.. wahehe atleast d na ko ngiisip ng u know.. issue ahahaha.. bsta im happy.. lalo na pg ng smile cia .. *kilig... galen pa sa handball.. steeg.. cfad pa hahaha.. waa cute nya kanina.. cute nya mg sleep sa pav.. hehe stalker na ba itech.., haha di namn.. bsta im happy.. wag na keo mgreklamo.. be happy nlng for me.. dava
hehehe
i crush u....

a long overdue umm shux..

2005-01-28T17:25:00.000+08:00

this past days i've been preoccupied with so many things... prelim projects, exams, work. tama bang dumagdag pa ang pgbabalik ng nakaraan. they say love can never be erased.. shux thats right nga.. ive been single for quite some time and i told myself and the world that im happy.. yea i guess i was, but unfortunately my dumating na tao na ive been avoiding since xmas.. haha (duh lam!!!) how can i avoid som1 na kasama mo sa schl.. shux.. its so hard to breathe, move, talk, smile and look.. its like you dont want to make a move na alm mo na he's gona make pansin.. ewan ko ba.. here i go again.. i told carla, rizza and the rest of the girls na im totali over him.. pero kanina.. when michael asked me about tha hu' if i still love him.. shux i said yea.. i still.. its so hard namn kase to forget some1 u really love most.. pero what can i do.. time pass people change. everybody do change nga!! haii.. he used to be the ultimate guy umm malambing, nice, gentleman, down to earth, funny and ol.. carla told me pa nga na hes the one na hu would take good care of me,,, haha asif im sick noh.. actually i am.. im crazy.. crazy about lotz of things.. wala akong connection.. noh hahaha deng. ive realized nga pala na i should really move on nah.. its so hard kase to be friends with sum1 u luv.. d ko kakayanin.. i might end up fallin deeply inlove again.. insane i know.. what can i do? im just a girl.. my weakness is fallin inlove.. haii .. i just cant stand seeing him everyday.. everyminute.. evry rolcal, d cia mawawala mgkasunod kame eh.. haii gawd im not makin any sense nah.. shux.. i wish time will come that my hart will heal.. i think id be better if im numb.. i might not feel the pain.. pain ive been carryn' since the day u told me u dont trust me.. hai.. god help me.. im so down right now... cnt stop cryn cnt stop thingkin.. haii..

tamia: smile
Sometimes i sit at home and wonder how it be if he had loved me truely loved me yes, i learned
Awhile ago that kind of thing it never happens for me, and so i go around and just pretend love
Is not for me i play the circus clown around my friends make them laugh and they wont see that
U never let them see u sweat dont want them to think the pain runs deep, Lord know its killing me

o i put on my make up put a smile on my face and if anyone ask me everything is ok im
Laughing cuz no one knows the joke is on me cuz im dyin inside with my pride and a smile on my
Face...on my face singing, la la la, la la, lalala, la la, la la, la la, la la, la la, la la la
Laaaa

2005-01-15T17:36:00.000+08:00

san ka pa?

what kind of shoes em i???

2005-01-10T15:44:00.000+08:00

Chucks

10 things i hate about u!!!!!

2004-12-24T17:50:00.000+08:00

fuck inis ako naun... if ur reading this wala kang magagawa this is what i feel.. waaaa i wuna shout!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
tangina gsto kong mgmura ng malakas!!! tngana talaga

1.They're jerks
2.they lie
3.self conceeded
4.too much pride
5.wanna be
6.bug-a-boos..lol..
7.tryin to be cool
8.backstab ... fuck em... fuckin gay thing
9.using people
10.being shady...lol.

ano galet ka na??? eeee care ko.... naiinis ako sau!!!!!!!
waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
*mad*

+empty+

2004-12-21T16:30:00.000+08:00

Have you ever felt so empty inside that you believe that you are beginning to feel sick? Like there is nothing left inside to hide? I, never in my life, have felt this empty. It's almost an undescribable feeling; and I definitely never thought that less connection would be the reason for such a feeling. I won't go into detail. All I can do is attempt to find an outlet for this feeling through my writings. The people in our lives, the ones that come and go, the ones that come and stay, all have an impact on our feelings and life. I hope this one doesn't go, but instead stays because I don't like feeling empty inside. I always thought I was a complete person, but I suppose I hadn't met the one that made me feel like I'm finally complete with them near. I'm not trying to sound juvenile or sappy, but that's just how I feel. I put my faith in Heavenly Father and his judgement on what will go on in this particular relationship.
I'm sorry if this post seems more like incoherent babble, but I had to somehow get it off my chest.

haii... i feel so empty...

+buhay ko nung minahal kita+

2004-12-20T16:00:00.000+08:00

Mag dadalawang taon nadin ang nakalipas, I fell in love with this guy that used to be my blockmate. At first I really hated him then ayun we became friends n a part of the barkada n stuff.. pero that time wala pa talaga ako feelings sa kanya.. I started having feelings for him about a year ago pero he doesnt know that.. tinago ko kase ayaw ko masira ang aming friendships.. hehe me HD ako saknya.. si small lng nakakalam nun.. we used to talk everynight and palage kame ngaaway.. hehe tinataray ko cia.. den one night he told me that he likes my other barkada.. i was so hurt kase saken nya sinasabe kng gaano nya ka like ito.. so i started ignoring him.. blah blah n stuff.. pero i let i pass.. tinaggap ko sa sarile ko na d talagang pwede maging kame.. hehe.. pero un second sem ng 1st yr kame.. wheeww naging close ulet.. tambay gabe gabe sa field kase paskuhan.. den ayun some friends makin us asar na baket d nalng daw kame.. ako namn c u kno kilig deep inside hehee..ayun day by day m,as ngiging close kame.. it started un ngpunta kame sa greenhills nila paul... we watched err anu nga un ay "50 first Dates" hehe.. kilig ng movie.. ayun we started to flirt na.. hhahaha galet c paul samen... whahahha.. den ayun sunod sunod na.. he asked me out... watch kame muvi ulet.. horror sumthin un.. whaha (my chismis pa nga kumalat eh) hehe pero oks lng kulet nga eh... neways one thing let to another and we end up together. I use to see him everyday at school, he was in all of my classe's and the best thing pa nga eh seatmates kame.. hahaha..we used to spend weekend nga 1 time sa hauz nila.. ahemmm hahaha. We went out for almost 4 moths i guess and it was all perfect.. pero 1 week bago wala ang lahat ngkakainisan na kame.. he started to listen to the other poeple para i change un relationship namen.. ang dame expectations.. they wanted us to do this n to do that.. the hell.. d ako legal.. i risk my life for him kasi sobrng mahal ko cia..pero ito friday night we talked sa phone.. we clear things up.. ok na kame.. he went to our friends debut without me cuz i cant go..the next day he called up.. soo mad and said friggin stuff na super saket na kulang nalang tapakan pgkatao ko.. gawd it was so hurtful u kno... At first I didn't really know what to say cause I was sooooo shocked and he told me he wanted a break but even the way we broke up(which was on the phone) was weird kase parang d breaku n thing like that.. It's been 3 months siguro that we broke up and he's living her life.. drunken ass.. bein so mayabang and stuff.. but the thing is that I'm very in love with him and I want nothing more but to get back with him i guess.. kase i rili missed him.. we onced talked sa phone pa nga and asked kung me chance pa sabe ko wag muna im so hurt sa mga sinabe mo n stuff like that...days passed d na kame ngpapansinan.. ang hirap as in.. blockmate mo then x mo.. seatmate mo x mo..waaa magulo na mundo.. ayun our precious barkada is over naden....ayun ito na namn ako ngpapapaka gaga un paskuhan na namn... ngpaka drunk para my guts na kausapn cia.. i txted him if we could talk he told me na nxt time nlang kase his also drunk din.. ayun i started to cry na..ayun pinuntahn nya ako.. he saw me cryng huged me n he kept on brushin my hair.. hai.. i told him that i missd him n blah blah.. den i haf to go home.. hintd nya ako pababa kase medyo tipsy na ako.. den we sat sa labas ng isang bar.. he told me that he doesn't want to get back with me but that he wants to be my friend. I told him that id rather not be ur friend than to be ur friend n i still keep on hurtin myself.. err iuno what im writing nah.... There is not a day that I don't think of him na naman and it's really hurting me because I really don't know what to do. I've realized i loved him too much and I'm feeling something that I never felt before. Please if anyone has some good advice to give me go ahead because whats been going threw my head in the past months are something that I wish no one would ever feel.

gawd.. this one is so hurtful na tlga... ngayon ko lng naramdamn toh... i am good at advicing people when it comes to this friggin stuff pero i cant help myself.. hai... help me move on my life.. sigh...

I Feel So alone

2004-12-12T02:05:00.000+08:00

Feel so alone
Don't know why
All I want to do is cry
Everything I want has gone down the drain
All the things I had have left a stain
And know it causes me pain
I hate this feeling of confinement
It's like it's right there beside me
Always and forever
Breathing my breath
Whispering in my head
"You're alone!"
It's there in my dreams
It's there when I close my eyes
It's there deep in the inside
Trying to bury me in my own pain
Trying to choke me with all the strain
Pushing me to the edge
Like a voice inside my head
Feel so alone
And I don't know why
Why I happen to cry
I try and I try
To figure this out
What this feeling is all about
But it seems to be
That it's controlling me
It won't let go
It wants full control
I feel so alone
And I don't know why
So sometimes I still have to cry
Because I feel so alone.

Suntok Sa Buwan :: Session Road

2004-12-10T18:48:00.000+08:00

Hindi mo ba alam
Damdamin ko'y pinagtakpan
Makasama ka'y suntok sa buwan

'Di mo nga alam
Mundo mo nga'y iyong tignan
Kung ganyan, walang pupuntahan

Hindi ko 'to gusto
Pero 'wag kang lalayo

Itanong mo sa akin
At tatanungin ko rin
Kung ika'y aamin
Lahat ay gagawin

'Di mo napapansin
Kailangan mo akong dinggin
'Di habang buhay ika'y aantayin

Ito'y aking hiling
At sana naman ay tanggapin
Ng puso ko'y 'di nabibitin

What is Love?

2004-12-05T17:49:00.000+08:00

is it just borrowed time?
is it just wasted time?
is it too good to be true?
is it worth the pain it can lead to?
is it better to have loved and lost, then to not have loved at all?
is it just pretend?
is it only short term?
is it not ours to keep?
why is it given, than taken back?
What is it really?

Love is a lot of questions.

Live Love Burn Die...

2004-12-03T17:05:00.000+08:00

I don't know what it is like too live, because I still have not lived. I dont know what it is like to die because I have never died. Although I do have idea of what it would be like, and how it would feel. I am sure everyone's idea of life and death are different, as everyones lifes are..To live you need to love- to love you must learn. To learn you must hurt, to hurt you must need. To need you must want, and to want you must have. To have you must get, and to get you must try. To try you must live. It is one big circler chain reaction. You start out when you are born, as you live you grow into a person who can then on from there make there own decissions. As a great man once said to me.."You can not choose where you are born, but you can choose how and where you will live and die" Even though he is now not here in person any longer. I think he knew what It meant. To die means to no longer be able to been seen by the human eye. Your body is gone, but your sole is still alive. I belive that your sole never dies. For ever the people you loved and that loved you, will never forget about you, and remember that when you loose someone important too you, you will forever always see them again. To live is to take chances. Taking chances involvs doing the things that make you as a person and in individual happy. Even if that means doing something that others do not agree with. Live day to day every day to its very fullest because you don't know when your time is going to come that you pass on. Make sure the people you love know how you feel because un spoken words do not speak the truth. Adivce Ive gained and feel the need to pass onto you as the reader: Dont ever give up, not matter what they say or do. Live your dreams make them happen. Stand up when you belive in something. Always look down when they tell you not too. Keep thoughs you love closer to your heart. Never sleep on an empty heart. Believe in youself. Always and Only be yourself, no one else. Have respect. Kiss the rain. Never let go. Don't fall asleep what you have a grude, you don't know if that person or yourself will ever wake up again. Don't fight only speak. Charish thoughs memories we only have so many. Dont forgive and forget, forgive and respect. Smile. When you cry, cry don't just tear. Honesty is hard to find, only speak the truth. Dont ever say no or I Cant. Be positive. Never say never cus nevers ever true. Tell someone you love them. Search for the truth. Morn for the day you wake up on the beach in the sun set...TAKE CHANCES. never let go. MY friends' have taught this to me. When I die I will keep this close to my heart, while I live 0h I will live this advice every single day. I 'll be a leader and pass this onto all of you. Someday we wont be here, and if that doesn't make you feel empty inside I don't know what will. Please- Before it's too latet. For all of us- Take chances, leaven to cry- learn to die- learn to love-learn to..Live

haii nakakalungkot pala ng ngiisa..

2004-11-30T16:20:00.000+08:00

sa tagal kong hindi ng post dito... madame ako narealise.. malungkot pala ang magisa noh? alam ko madame akong kaibigan pero me hinahanap paden..parang kulang.. i told my mom nga yesterday na nasaktan ako ng sobra sa pag-big, sabi nya dapt daw hindi ko binigay lahat.. sa isip isip ko naman pag hindi mo binigay ang pagmamahal mo sa isang tao, sasbhn sau hindi mo siya mahal o hindi sapat ang nararamdaman mo para saknya.. haii ewan ko ba.. kakalungkot lng ba isipin.. sheesh... dapat 2log na ako ngayon eh.. kaso ewan ko ba, ayaw ako patulugin ng utak ko.. haii.. i feel soo empty talaga.. ang hirap pala nang ganto.. ngayon ko lang naranasan ang masaktan ng sobra sobra.. my ngtanong nga minsan kung ngayon lang ba daw ako ng mahal.. sabi ko siguro.. ngayon ko lang ibinigay lahat, ibinuhos lahat ng pagmamahal ko, sa kasawiang palad hindi naramdaman ng taong mahal ko na mahal ko siya... haii.. ibalik ba ang nakaraan.. pak.. ang hirap kalimutan.. ilang beses ko na sinabe sa buong mund0 na over na ako.. na ok na ako.. pero baket ganto? ang hirap huminga.. un nakaraan lang inamin ko sa isa kong kaibigan na hindi pa nga talaga ako nakapg move on.. shikes.. ang hirap pala talaga.. punyetang pagibig na itoh.. hindi na ako nilubayan.. haii.. minsan nga inisip ko nalng na sundin talaga ang tatay ko... ipakasal ako sa taong d ko mahal.. baka sakaling hindi ako saktan.. selfish noh..ewan ko ba napaparanoid na ako.. haii =S

sad+hurt+angry+scared

2004-11-11T17:16:00.000+08:00

"I cant seem to find out what I feel,
Burn out dreams
of followers that I cant steel.. Oh I live a lie."
Forget the entry above this one- I just don't understand. I guess that some
people just are really different, sometimes there so set in there ways that it
just doesn't make sense. Someday I just wanna curl up in a corner and
not move. I guess I am feeling
kinda hurt. It didn't work out- some time's in
life, people are scared, and they don't believe the chance is worth it. I can
understand, but I cant.. I don't know what I am feeling..
Sad.. Hurt..
Angry.. Scared..
I guess everyday Can't be as good. but I just wish that it could be different. I
miss him already..

to love...

2004-11-07T10:37:00.000+08:00

To love..Is to be loved. Is to be hurt, is to feel pain. Love comes with fear love comes with passion. Deep down inside each and every one of us we morn to be loved. When we are in love it is never enough. Were all selfish and what we have most of us take for granted. Most of us are consumers..but we never give back to what we take. Love isn't a 1 way street..Love is all about taking chances, striving for what you belive it. Its not about that perfect person, it's not about kissing in the moonlight and money and dates. Love is isn't about Sex, or getting married. Love is about devotion, motavation- respect and pride. Love is never jelouse and love isin't always kind. Love doesn't show up one night and it surtianley does not go away after some tears cause by a fight. Love is what we call everylasting. Love is what we call free. We will never know just to what level other people becids youself think love is. You need to be open with youserlf, listen to what your heart strives for- and then feed it. Love is all about trusting youself..but most of all you mush learn to love yourself before you can love an other.

to the people who are hurt.. u kno hu u are.. dont frown u still got ur friends.. "us" walang iwanan aite?? /me akap lahat ng tao hehehe

+ masakit na quotes? +

2004-10-27T16:00:00.000+08:00

+ Ang tao, minsan lang magsabi ng, “Mahal kita.” Madalas pag sinabi nila ito, huli na ang lahat o wala na ang pagmamahal. Kaya ngayun pa lang, sasabihin ko na sayo. Mahal kita. Huli na ba?
+ Alam mo? Gago ka, bwiset, leche, walang kwenta, manhid! Ang laki mo pang tanga! Pero alam mo, mas gago ako sayo! Kasi nagpumilit akong mahalin ang isang gagong tulad mo.
+ Minsan mahirap magmahal kasi sinasaktan ka na. Iiyak ka lang kasi mahal mo siya. Pag mukha ka na talagang tanga, gagaguhin ka pa. Pero ang pinakamasakit ay yung mahal na mahal mo siya tapos wala lang kwenta sa kanya.
+ Wala akong ibang pangarap kundi ang makasama ka. Wala akong ibang inisip kundi kung paano ka mapaligaya. Wala akong ibang pinagdasal kundi sana ikaw na nga. Pero wala naman akong magawa para maging tayong dalawa.
+ Miss na kita kaso siya naman yung miss mo. Mahal kita kaso siya rin yung mahal mo. Siya na lang lagi! Kahit nasasaktan ka na niya, ok lang kasi mahal mo siya. Ang tanga mo, no? Parang ako!
+ If I only have one hour left to live and I'm with you that day, I'll lay my head unto your shoulder as I feel the breeze touch my skin and say, “Pasandal lang po muna, ha? Matagal po akong mawawala, eh.”
+ Kung mahal mo raw, ipaglaban mo. Totoo ba yun? Paano kung hindi ka niya mahal? Anong ipaglalaban mo? Isang pag-ibig na ikaw lang ang nakakadama? Mahirap yata yun, ah! Kaya mo ba? Pag mahal mo talaga, kakayanin mo, diba?
+ Sana pag nakita mo na yung taong mahal mo, wag kang magpakatanga, wag kang magpakamartir, wag kang magpakagago. Ayokong makitang nahihirapan ka. Tingnan mo yung nangyari sakin nung minahal kita.
+ Sabi nila kapag mahal mo, lahat ibibigay mo, lahat gagawin mo. Pero pano na lang kung hilingin niya na maghiwalay kayo? Ibibigay mo ba kahit mahal mo pa siya?
+ Sabi mo mahal mo ko. Sabi mo di mo ko iiwan. Sabi mo hihintayin mo ko. Saglit lang akong nawala, iba na ang kasama mo. Ang daya talaga. Dahil ba sa mahal mo lang ako pag wala siya?
+ Ask ko si God. Sabi ko, "Bakit mo siya kinuha sakin? Binigay ko naman ang lahat, ah?" Sabi niya, "Di ka kasi nagtira para sayo." Sabi ko, "Ganito po kasi ako magmahal, eh." Sabi niya, "Kaya pala lahat kinalimutan mo. Pati ako."
+ Sana akin ka para di ka iiyak. Sana akin ka para di ka na masasaktan. Sana akin ka para di ka na aasa pa. Ngunit ang talagang nais ko'y sana ako siya na mahal mo ng sobra sobra.
+ Minsan ang layo ng tingin mo. Sino ba ang hinahanap mo? Yung taong magmamahal sayo? Yan ang hirap sayo, eh! Ang layo lagi ng tingin mo. Ang tagal ko na dito. Di ba pwedeng sakin ka naman tumingin?
+ Ano ba to? Ikaw na naman ang iniisip ko. Kaya ang hirap makatulog sa gabi, eh. Di kasi kita makalimutan. Pero nakakatulog din ako. Alam mo kung papano? Sinasabi ko sa sarili ko, "Tanga! May mahal na yun. Tulog ka na."
+ Sabi mo mahal mo ko, naniwala ako. Sabi mo hanggang katapusan tayo, umasa naman ako. Sabi mo di mo ko sasaktan, nagtiwala ako sayo. Pero bakit ganito? Iniwan mo ako at niloko. Pero ok lang. May magagawa pa ba ko? Siguro lang talagang hindi ako para sayo.
+ I can't blame you if one day you'll walk out of my life. However, expect me to give up everything just to keep you in sight. If I fail, please give me a chance to say, "Gagawin ko lahat wag ka lang umalis."
+ Lahat ng tao magbabago, lahat ng tao magmamahal ng iba, lahat tayo masasaktan, iiwan at kakalimutan. Pero pag dumating satin yung araw na yun, pipilitin ko pa ring maalala yung araw na minahal kita.
+ Sabi mo di ka nanghihinayang na nawala siya sayo o nagsisisi na iniwan ka niya. Sa totoo lang, hindi ako naniniwala. Dahil nakatulog kang lumuluha sa tabi ko habang pabulong kong sinasabi, "Ako kaya, iiyakan mo?"

2004-10-25T19:00:00.000+08:00

na isip mo ba na gusto mo mging princess?? hehe well isa akong *dreamer*
na dream ko one day mamimit ko rin ang prince charming ko.. heehe as in prinsipe talga.. ayun.. pero un sinabi ko sa mom ko natawa cia hehehe em i ugleeh ba?? d ba pede mgkagsto sakin ang prince? heheheh whahahaha wala akong magawa... hehe pero sana nga noh one day bigla nlng sumulpot un prince ko... malay natin dba? wala nmn masama dba? malay ko ba na isa sa mga ng check ng blog na toh un na un soon to be prince ko.. wehehe .. ala lng tlga aku magawa.. btw...

i miss ate emily... u take care ate emily ko.. get well soon.. i labshoo olways...
*akap*

masaya ka ba??

2004-10-23T07:30:00.000+08:00

haf u ever askd urself if ur happy??
hehe d to mushy noh! i jaz askd un lng..
haf u ever herd of Rex Navarette?? wayback in highschool fav nmin watch to sa flash un Maritess vs. the Super Friends.. uso to iwatch hehe.. or ito ang pingkkwntohan.. check nyo toh heheh para malamn nyo kng anu tlga toh..
comedy to pwamishh.. hehe =D

ehh haf u herd of I LOve Eggs?? heheh mas masaya toh.. kng luv mo mg eat ng eggs mas lalo ka mgeenjoy mg eat neto.. 365 days itech.. hehehe =D

watch d move =D
kng gsto mo mgpaka sad... watch mo toh.. kakasad tlga... haiii

eto last.. pang wala lng talaga pero cute cia heheheh
heheh bale to finale ko hehehe =D

http://sstatic.naver.com/keypage/image/marketing/entoi/number_song.swf
ayun lng.. =D
wala kasi ako magawa...
babai .. =D

nakakapagod magmahal.. *sigh..

2004-10-18T08:51:00.000+08:00

its so funny na sumtimes niisip ko na i beliv in love.. teehee kaht na palagi ako nasasaktan at kng anu pa.. pero ito parin ako atapang atao. mahal ng mahal..kaht hindi ka mahal.. geezzz naransan mo na un?? pak noh?? mahal mo, my mahal na iba? oh di kaya.. mahal mo mahal din ng kaibigan mo.. waaa nakakabaliw.. sympre kaibigan mo eh.. pgbigyan mo cia.. sabi nga nila pag iniwan ka ng boyfren mo sinu tatakbuhan mo? sympre kaibign dva?? err wala ako sense na nmn.. pero naranasan mo na ba sabhn ka ng , "We're better off as friends." PUCHA! Kaibigan?! sa laht ng gnawa ko para sa knya at lahat ng sinkripisyo ko, kaibgn lng pla ang habol nya sakin. Ano ba ito lokohan lang? Pero sige, sabi ko "move one, move on."..
PUCHA isa pa toh::"Mabait lng ako sa babae kaya ako gnto." Lalong masakit! Bakit? Hanep naman kasi.tatawagn ka araw araw, magigng swit kayo, kakantahan ka pa, yayakapin at higit sa laht sasabhn sau napaka ganda mo at napaka bait.. at ano ba yun `special' girl ka sa kanya. hindi mo akalain na nrmanl lng pla saknyang ginagwa un? ako namn si gaga.. nafall na, d na napigiln. wala namn nagawa..ang sabi ko nlng sa sarili ko "its ur lost, not mine."
Ito namn ang ibang style:: manliligaw sya.. kaw nmn si feeling maganda papahintay.. papatagalin un ligawan na ito.. tapos kung kelan sasagutin mo na sya namn un nawalan ng gana.. sus.. babae po kami.. natural lng un papakipot kami.. bakt? syempre gsto lng namin malamn kng anu tlga intensyon nyo dva? haii.. eto na nmn sabi ko sa sarili ko "Bahala ka! Marami pa naman dyang iba!" Tapos sige move on ulit.
Ito ang pamatay sa lahat. nanligaw si lalaki, sinagt ni babae. oks na sna ang rlationship tpos 1 day, sasbhn nya lng sau "Hindi ko na kaya. Tapusin na natin ito." iniwn k nlng bsta ng dhl sa sng dahlanng d mo malngkot maintindihn at tangapin. ni hindi mo lam kng gsto mo sapakin cia ng paulit ult bka sakng matauhn at sabhn nya "Joke lang po." pro hindi.. sa hlp kaw pa nkramdm ng sakit at sapak at kng anu pa.. kaw pa nkarmdm ng sakit. at kinbkasan ay malmn mong tunay na dahiln ay sila na pla ng matalik mong kaibign..NAMPUCHA! hind mo lam kng iiyk ka, o ssgawa o kaya sugurin mo ung "your so called bestfriend at ismbt saknya lhat ng nararmdamn mo..Sa huli, wla ka dn mgagagawa kng hnde tagnapin ang lhat at mging masaya pra saknila. May maagawa ka pa ba? ssabihin mo aman sa arili mo, "Makakarma rin kayo!" tapos hala, move on ulit..
Nakakapagod mgmahal noh??
Pero masrap mgmahal kht na hndi mo lam kng mahal ka rn nya.. bsta kaw mahal mo cia. un lng ang importante. makita mo cia, masaya cia, un tipong mga ganun.. masaya ka na sa bagy bagay na ganun.. naiv ba? haii ewab ko ba.. cgro ganun ako.. masaya na ako kht d nya alm..ngitian ka nya pwede ka na tumalon sa LRT dhl super sya mo na pinsin ka nya.. shikes DRAMA ko ba?
Eh pnu pa kng "kayo" na? D mas lalong humaba ang buhok mo. eto na un lgi nlng sinsbi na d ka makakain , maka2log, d ka makaisip at puros lamn ng utak mo eh kasama cia? BALIW na ata ikaw pag ganun.. whahaha
madrma kng sa mdrama eh me mgagawa ka INLUV eh. sus! wlng KORNI png inluv..
Ako? Parang takot na yata akong ma-in-love ulit. Parang takot na akong sumubok pa ng isa. Parang ayoko na! Pero parang hindi tama. Ganyan naman sa `love' diba? Sige lang, tuloy ka hangga't Makita mo ang katapat mo.

Hai,, mushhyy noh?? well dats me... im so SAWI =S

*scared to let go.. =S

Jasmine trios

2004-10-17T11:30:00.000+08:00

hmmm sigro by now ur thinking why jasmine trios... well me and my friends realized something last week... Mas bagay kaming maging Jasmine Trios.. hehe masarp kc ang Jasmine Trios meal... haf u tried it na?? *yum* wahihihi... well that trio thinggy kasi is parang kameh.. c paul, me, n carla. hehe kita namn sa pic dba? d pa kasi nadevelop un me flowers kami eh.. sayang* ayun.. well what can i say bout dis guys..

well ol i can say is d best tong mga chong kong toh... wahahha pangt pakingan un chong hehhee...
sila un tipong d ka mgsasawa pg kasama mo siluh.. c paul he's the singer, c carla namn is un tipong madaldal whahaha in a good way ha! =D safe answer noh?? heheh pero super saya to be wid her... d yan nauubusan ng wento.. n she's super der 2 listn sau.. hehe pg iiyak ako iiyak nadin cia.. hehehe.. meeh?? im nuthin, simple lng ako harhar... im d corniest gal ul ever kno hhehheeh.. eeekk.. kahit pinaka mababaw or pinaka corny na joke ako un unang ung tatawa jan.. hehe... well enuf said i thnk... =D i jus wana say i luv u guys... and thnx for sticking around.. err mali ata un hehehe.// bsta un... luvshuuu n lets PARTEE whahahah =D

singing in d rain =D

2004-10-16T14:57:00.000+08:00

Im singing in d rain.. Lalalalala
hehe not an ordinary night.. why? deng.. lumindol kaya while we wer havin dinner.. shikes.. i was scared huhuhu heheh ala lng.. still im singing in the rain paden.. say nyo? ehehe..
Isnt she pretty?? *wink*
ofcorz dats my pretty pretty fren.. ate gwacie.. hehehe ala lng.. sayng got no pix wid ate emily dat time pero chike ill still post our pic hihihi =D

halabshoo guys =D *akap*

in pain... soo sad..

2004-10-16T04:35:00.000+08:00

I don’t know why... But I’m so much pain now… I’ve been hurt so many times… I’m so afraid of taking the risk of falling again, is it really that hard to love and be love? Tell me… I don’t know where to seek the answers to my questions… But in the end… all I can do is just hope… that things will turn out for the better… My eyes are in tears as i write, call me foolish, call me a hopeless romantic, call me anything you want… I just want to pour my heart out. Alam ninyo minsan lang ako magkagusto, yung minsan palang yun… yun pala yung magbibigay ng sobrang sakit. My close friends knows kung ano ang pinagdaan ko. The problem with me is that I tend to give too much of myself to the person I love. Kaya nga siguro ako na din ang may kasalanan why I feel like this. Its true na “Masarap pero Masakit,” I mean in Love. Love is one of those four letter words na nakakatakot… nakakapagpaligaya… and nakakasakit… But never-the-less we keep on loving… Even if it hurts us… the irony of it is that we never learn… I think its because, of those endless love stories we’ve watched over and over again, giving us a sense of hope… na one day you’ll find you perfect match, your soulmate… and live life happily ever after. Hay life, parang Buhay. I confess… I’m like that, I love to watch love stories… because it gives me hope, but at the end of the day, as I lay in my bed, I have to face the sad reality… that life isn’t a film, that’s full of hope, but rather it is a field where you can easily get hurt, by giving your self too much. This is my an advice to you and to myself as well… konting ingat sa pagbibigay ng puso at ng sarali dahil pag ikaw ay nag kamali… sigurado ikaw ang luhaan. Pero pag nakita na ninyo yung taong magmamahal sayo ng sobra… wag ka magpakatanga… ipakita mo at mahalin din siya ng sobra… dahil sa buhay paminsan-minsan lang dumating ang mga pagkakataon, na may mamahalin ka at mamahalin ka tulad o higit pa sa pagmamahal mo.

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

2004-10-15T13:58:00.000+08:00

me. my life. my stuff

live + love + burn + die

rain rain go away...

update update

seventeen

why do we love ba?

mithi mode -tama ba spelling?

ive grown tired and shining for someone whose glance was never mine...

blogging

Backstreetboys live @araneta

blogthigs~~

isaw..

untitled ~~

lie.. *sigh*

kinidnap cellphone ko =S

hurtin inside

26 Things That A Perfect Guy Would Do

mahal kita? ikaw mahal mo ba ako?

halik

creepy.. T_T

Top Breakup Lines (and what they really mean)

gaguhan lang pala....

nakana...

traits of a good boyfriend/girlfriend...

Ever After by Bonnie Bailey

UST fever..

ang manhid mo!!!

why do we love?

kailanman

i am just another...

sudden love...

big brother?

a happy day...

crime scene.. *_*

cream soda lollipop

now i feel so much pain within...

jaded...

tamis tamisan...

31 things about me [survey]

love and appreciate [if only movie]

take my heart back - jennifer love hewitt [if only movie]

i cried on this story .. sigh

im scared of my friggin dreams..

what icons are for meeh?

if killing was legal...

depressing..

wishing on the same star.. =S

to the sly and cunning by sponge cola

here i go again..

senti... hummmm

SHUTTER.. waaaa

a happy day...

late again...

school is back again...

i kill myself with questions

Dear Dad

feelings

haiii

sick..

Prom - sugarfree

postin..

Feelings

Hurst the most - monica

Drama Queen.. Must read!!

feelings for p.e boi ahaha

Can you fall in love in one night?

happy again?

a long overdue umm shux..

what kind of shoes em i???

10 things i hate about u!!!!!

+empty+

+buhay ko nung minahal kita+

I Feel So alone

Suntok Sa Buwan :: Session Road

What is Love?

Live Love Burn Die...

haii nakakalungkot pala ng ngiisa..

sad+hurt+angry+scared

to love...

+ masakit na quotes? +

masaya ka ba??

lie.. sigh

crime scene.. _